Recently heartbroken student Mickey Daniels has exceeded everyone’s expectations in handling her recently reported breakup. Since things fizzled out with her longtime beau, she’s been spending more time on projects, gotten in some quality time with her girls, and has been tagged in considerable pictures with fellow co-eds.
“Yeah, Brandon and I were together for like almost three years. But the last four months have been so exhausting. I was actually kind of relieved when he ended things over an Instagram message. He used to say that it would take me two lifetimes to get over him. But, whatever, I guess we can add that to the miles long list of things that never made sense about him.”
When asked about rumors swirling about her close new friendship with one of the varsity baseball players, Mickey simply added, “I may have been out of the game for awhile, but it’s still cuffing season, right?”
DISCLAIMER: Satire