It’s that time of year again! No, I’m not talking about the upcoming holidays. Now that the underclassmen have gotten their fill of dorm life and the upperclassmen have realized that their friends don’t make the greatest housemates, it’s time to begin hunting for a temporary off-campus home!
If you’ve ever been inside a typical college house you’ll know that they have a certain, ahem… charm. If you haven’t and you’re looking for a place to fit you and all of your closest buds, I’m here to tell you what to expect during your showings and your eventual residency.
Eccentric Decorations
From empty bottle chandeliers and bottle cap mosaics, to mustached Mona Lisas and glow-in-the-dark spray paint, you’d be hard-pressed to find a room that is unadorned with some sort of oddity that serves as a conversation point.
Accident-Inducing Architecture
Warped floors, doors that lead to nothing but a second-story drop, and one step that’s slightly shorter than the rest – oh my! A trip here or there builds character and good reflexes. Just pretend you’re a student at Hogwarts and be grateful that the staircases don’t move.
Mismatched Furniture
Let’s be honest – living on a student budget doesn’t really allow you to be picky. If your uncle gives you a pea-green couch that looks like it’s from the 1970s and smells like it’s from the 1870s, you’re going to take it and squeeze it next to your roommate’s hot pink butterfly chair proudly.
A Fridge of Mysteries
Expired milk? Check. Toaster Strudels that were on sale at the gas station? Check. Half of a pizza? Nobody knows who left it behind, but it belongs to the house now (check)! Who knew how much you would miss the school meal plan? Unless your family sends you with freezer food, your feasts will be a day-by-day adventure.
An Ominous Odor
Where’s the smell coming from? Is it a dead animal, festering dirty dishes, or just a mild case of mildew? Could it be a combination of all three? No matter the answer, it has permeated the walls and your nostrils. Good thing you’re allowed to burn candles now!
Despite (or perhaps because of) these quirks, some of your favorite memories will be made in your college home. Just keep in mind while searching for the perfect place: this ain’t your mama’s house. You may want to clean up a bit before she visits though.