A lot of people think that being single is sad or lonely. For most of my life, I’ve felt the pressures of society and also myself that I had to be in a relationship by a certain time or I was going to end up old and alone. Now that I’m 21 years old and in college, I’m starting to realize that a relationship really isn’t the key to happiness in life. It’s been a slow and gradual realization throughout my college years and it’s one that I’ve learned simply by observing.
I’ve definitely had my share of crushes on guys and yes, I’ve tried to pursue them, but it’s never gone anywhere because I have a taste for guys that are way out of my league or aren’t even reachable (yes, I’m talking about Harry Styles). All through high school, I thought that it was a must that I have a boyfriend. It didn’t have to last – I just thought that I need to have at least one in order to enter the dating world. I don’t even know. I thought that it was apart of the k-12 experience – and it is that way for some people. Looking back at it now, I’m actually glad I didn’t experience it. Too much drama and hormones and chances are, it wouldn’t last forever. There’s a few more reasons I’m glad none of my high school crushes panned out, but I’m not going to say names or go into any detail because if by some ungodly reason they’re reading this, I don’t want to embarrass them. However, I don’t regret having those crushes; they’ve all taught me something about myself in one way or another. Thank u, next.
I’ve tried dating apps – even in college. Those never worked out. I was naive and tried Tinder, thinking that there would be a nice lad out there waiting for me. No, I was wrong. No offense to anyone that uses (or used) Tinder and met their charming significant other, but that is straight up an app for sex (mostly) and ya girl isn’t about that life.
Not only that, but I found that my expectations are pretty high. Yes, I’m picky. I’m picky with a lot of things, so why does it surprise me that I’m picky about a mate? I know, I know – stop being so particular. My answer to that is no, I will not stop. I’m not going to settle for someone that’s toxic just because they were the first male to actually show interest. If I would’ve done that, I wouldn’t have just dissed Tinder and the plethora of other dating apps.
Having crushes in college seems a little childish to me. It’s more of taking an interest. I’ve had one of those in my three years of being here, but that never turned into anything because I was much too awkward. However, I didn’t stress as much about it like I did in high school. I didn’t pretend to not know how to do something in class or dress extra pretty that day (because everyday’s a runway, so I always look good). I was just myself and by being myself, it allowed for a friendship to happen and I was fine with that. I didn’t need it to be anything more.
That’s when I started to realize that being single really doesn’t suck as bad as society makes it seem. You don’t need a relationship to be happy. You don’t need to have a significant other to lead a happy life.
Don’t get this confused with me not wanting to be in a relationship. That’s not at all what I’m saying. I would love to be in a relationship someday, I’m just realizing that it’s not what makes someone happy. It’s not what I need in order to feel loved.
Am I depressed on Valentine’s Day? Honey, I’m depressed everyday – February 14th just says depressed with a heart around it. But I’m not depressed because I’m single. I spend it with my friends and my family. It’s a holiday about celebrating love – and that’s what I’m doing. I’m celebrating it with people that I love. National Boyfriend Day? That’s just a joke holiday, to be honest. I celebrate with my boyfriend Niall Horan. Yeah, that’s right – the Irish guy that’s in the band One Direction. Yeah, we had a date last NBD. It’s on Youtube – just search Night Changes.
What I’m stressing here is that I’m not sad that I’m single, as much as people want to think I am. I don’t care if you’re in a relationship – good for you! That’s great! I’ve learned through observations of others that relationships are a lot of work and can take an emotional toll. I have my own struggles right now and having a relationship would make it harder, I think. That being said, following the advice of the great RuPaul: “if you can’t love yourself, how the hell are you gonna love somebody else?”