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Writing Love to Hate Relationships: Lessons from The Nanny and iCarly

This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at UW Lax chapter.

*Spoilers for Gilmore Girls, Friends, The Nanny, and iCarly ahead.

Writing relationships is hard, especially if you don’t know exactly how long your series is going to last. You could have the slow-burn, 5-season wait of Luke and Lorelei, the on-again-off-again every other season of Ross and Rachel, or everything in between. One relationship trope that can be really, really fun for watchers is the enemies-to-lovers trope. It’s a relationship that slowly or suddenly develops over the course of a series.

Two instances of the enemies to lovers trope that have stuck with me over the years is the one of Niles and CC from The Nanny and Sam and Freddie from iCarly, both, unfortunately, for very different reasons. I love Niles and CC. I hate Sam and Freddie. Why?

Well, their execution was vastly different.

To catch you up, the banter between Niles and CC was next level. Second, they hated each other, like hated, hated each other. Third, they had chemistry. Even before they were romantically linked, they were equals. They sparred on the same level.

Now Sam and Freddie on the other hand… they were not on the same level. Sam picked on and beat up Freddie. They had zero chemistry. They were hardly even friends. Sam was annoyed by Freddie at best and Freddie was scared of Sam at best. There was no equal-level hate. Plus, Freddie was in love with Carly like the whole time. There was no third party in the Niles and CC relationship.

This is probably why the Sam and Freddie coupling is so weird. It seems like it came out of nowhere because… it did. They weren’t built up properly, I think, because they were not endgame, and they were some random thing they wrote in at the last minute because they were out of ideas or for shock. While it was shocking to see Sam and Freddie get together, it was shocking for all the wrong reasons. I didn’t feel like, “Okay yeah sure, that makes sense.” I felt betrayed. 

With Niles and CC, when their relationship was written in, it was extremely shocking, but it also left viewers, or at least me, with a sense of, “Yeah that’s it.” Because it was funny and ironic, but also because they hated each other so much (to the point of obsession) that it was cathartic to see them move past it. There was nothing cathartic about Sam and Freddie… it was just gross.

Catharsis is the best feeling a viewer can get out of a show, especially from the romantic storylines. Ross and Rachel had probably the most cathartic ending in a series ever. Because their question revolved around “will they/won’t they”, the catharsis for them had to answer that question. I don’t think it would have been a good idea to have them not end up together, but a series finale where they were definitively separated forever still would have been cathartic because it would answer that question.

Sam and Freddie’s getting together wasn’t cathartic because that was never the question. It’s fine Freddie didn’t end up with Carly, but if the writers didn’t want him to end up with her, then they could have introduced a new girl, had him get over Carly, and Carly and him could have remained friends. That would have been cathartic for the real romantic question of the series, which was Freddie’s pining/will he ever win her over? Notice how Sam was never a part of it. So she shouldn’t be part of the solution. The question is harder to identify in Niles and CC, but it really is: “Why do they hate each other so much?” Well, because they actually like each other. Question answered.

So, steps for making a good/cathartic romantic ending for characters, 1) Know your audience or ask yourself, “What would I want to see?” and 2) Identify or create the question in or of a romantic situation and answer it. Like every good party, the romantic situation should have a theme!