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Should Our Goal Really Be “Relationship Goals?”

This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at UW Lax chapter.


In this day in age, young adults are surrounded by the idea of “relationship goals.” The idea behind this concept, is if a couple is labeled with this phrase, it means they seem to have the ideal relationship or attributes of a relationship that people desire. The problem with this concept is that every relationship is different, let alone different from the one screenshot that was posted on social media. And don’t get me wrong, I have definitely pointed out my ideas of relationship goals before. But, it seems impossible to replicate these pictures we see online, unless anyone knows a good professional photographer that could follow my boyfriend and I around all the time.

So as we constantly compare our own relationships to these “goals” we see online, we can start to understand that these perfectly posed couple pictures are not the reality for most couples. To boil down to my point, it’s so important to let go of what other people think of you and your S.O. and if you are “goals” or not. The important thing is to be your own goals together. And if you don’t know where to start, that’s where I come in! Here are my tips for being your own “relationship goals.”

Stop trying to replicate photos you see online

You and your S.O are not those two in the picture on Twitter, so stop posing like it! Post a picture that encompasses you and your partner’s personalities. Not that getting more likes is important, but your friends and family like to see you genuinely happy in photos, not trying to replicate someone else’s relationship.

Keep your relationship fun and flirty

Sometimes we get so caught up in maintaining an image of our relationship status that we forget that it’s all about adventuring life with your partner, and people don’t get to see a lot of what goes on between you two. They may only get to see those Instagram posts every once and a while at a fancy restaurant, but they don’t see you when its midnight and your blindfolded as your S.O is laughing at you because you can’t find the sink to put your dishes away. Always mix it up and find new ways to make each other laugh. It really comes down to you two, and who matters more, your partner or the people liking your Instagram picture.

Put down the phone

Now, I’m not saying to put your phones down for good or to never post about your S.O. but log off social media and take time to appreciate your relationship for what it is! I mean you are half of the equation. If you take a step back from social media, you may realize more that you and your partner are having way more fun adventuring together rather than getting the perfect shot to post online.

Understand what’s realistic and what isn’t

I understand that Twitter and social media can be frustrating, if you see these “relationship goals” and want that for yourself, but as I have said to myself, “Oh my god, why can’t we take a picture like that?” I realize that 1. They are sometimes professional photos. 2. It probably took 100 tries to get this picture. 3. I enjoy looking back at me and my S.O’s non-composed silly pictures more than our posed ones. And if you’re scrolling through and you see the girl who bought her boyfriend 22 pairs of shoes for his 22nd birthday, say “you go girl,” but also understand that is not plausible so a lot of couples. (And if it is, tell me how.)


Build your own goals

If you can’t replicate other peoples’ goals, make your own! Create some goals that you and your S.O want to accomplish together. Plan a fitness regime or places to travel! Make a list of things you want to accomplish before a certain time and challenge each other to reach those goals. Even start saving your coins in a piggy bank together for a future trip. Create your own goals that you want to achieve together.


Every couple will have their days where others will envy their relationship, and they will also have their days that they wish they could push under the bed so no one could see them. Everyone will have ups and downs, and no relationship is only the happy pictures we see online. What I don’t want to see happen is an overwhelming amount of people becoming dissatisfied with their relationships because they are trying to obtain this status of “relationship goals” when the real measure of what that goal should be is the amount of love and happiness in the relationship. I understand how hard it is to look at some of these “relationship goals” examples and not want the same for yourself, but you can have your own goals with someone you love. It’s so much more worth it knowing that you love your relationship more than the perfect couple in the movie or the relationship goals accounts on Twitter. And maybe if more couples follow this idea, we will see a lot less, “I want to have their relationship,” and more, “I am happy with my own relationship.”

Erin is currently a senior at UW-La Crosse majoring in Marketing and minoring in Interpersonal Communications. Being born and raised in La Crosse, she can't part with her hometown and her family. Fun-loving and outgoing, Erin smiles every chance she gets!