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Just Because You’re The Nice Guy, Doesn’t Mean I Should Choose You

This New Year’s Eve, I posted a tweet that somehow blew up into something much bigger than I intended it to; being featured on Buzzfeed and Snapchat. This is what it read:

We’re all well aware of the “nice guy” saying that seems to be thrown around left and right these days——you know the kind. The kind that constantly texts you and is there for you when other guys aren’t. The kind that has all the qualities you’d want in a SO, all the makings of a perfect guy; except for the fact that there’s no emotional or physical attraction between you two. The kind people make you feel crazy for not dating.

After tweeting this, I got lots of responses from guys saying that we still won’t pick the “nice guys”. At first I was a little annoyed, but then I realized——-we aren’t obligated to be with you just because you’re nice. Of course you should be nice and we do appreciate you for being nice, however we don’t own you anything. You should act this way all the time, and without the expectancy of something in return. 

The only thing worse than not choosing the nice guy is choosing the nice guy because he’s nice. Relationships should be about mutual connection and attractive energy. Relationships shouldn’t be about loving the qualities of a person alone but the person in general. In our dating culture, men and women are always talking about picking the “nice guy”, but what they don’t tell you is pick the other parts of them too: their passion for life, their fearlessness, their undoutable ambition, their quirkiness, their charm, their whatever it is.

Nice guys, next time someone doesn’t pick you, please remember this: Be nice for the sake of being nice, people do recognize and admire it. However don’t believe that it’s your guarentee for the girl you want. The right and deserving girl is out there for you and in the long run you want someone who picked you for more than your niceness. And girls: Pick the guy that gives you butterflies and treats you right——“nice guy” or not.

 

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