UVM Gym Protocol

There’s nothing like blowing off steam at the gym after a long day filled with classes, papers and professors useless busywork. You expect to go there relax and not feel bad about yourself because hey you’re the one there working out right? Well let me tell you, there’s no greater buzz kill to what you expected to be your relaxing safe haven than “that guy.” You all know who I’m talking about and you’ve probably been him at some point in the countless hours you put in at the gym...obviously! Moral of the story is whatever you do DON’T be that guy, and to be sure that you never will be follow these simple rules of UVM gym etiquette.

Phones are for workout wannabee’s  

Is there an app that makes you run faster and burn more calories that someone forgot to tell me about? You can’t possibly be working out that hard if half of your attention is on twitter. Further, don’t take mirror selfies of you at the gym; do you need to prove you workout that bad? I’ll let you in on a little secret; you’re not fooling anyone. Make it easier on yourself, just leave your phone to music or leave it in the locker room. 

It’s the gym, NOT your senior prom

A little swish of the mascara wand is fine in all, really, we get it, you want to look semi put together because after all you never know who you’re going to see but seriously, was it necessary to curl your hair and put on your fake eyelashes for the gym? NO, don’t do it, all it amounts to is you looking stupid post-workout with a t-shirt full of foundation and half your mascara down one cheek, save yourself the embarrassment and leave the prom attire at home. 

Machine sign up times are not ridged contracts If there is a machine time sign up time and it’s crowded, it’s not a suggestion -- use it. It’s a community gym and we all need to share, just like our mom’s taught us. That being said, don’t hover over the machine telling me it’s your turn as soon as the clock hits your time. I get it, you’re up next and you’re not going to lose the machine if you walk away from it, so give me a minute to cool down and get off on my own, otherwise I’m taking my time and you’re getting a sweat covered machine. Your choice! 

Get out of my space

I’m sorry did you miss the personal bubble lesson that most people learned in kindergarten? You must have because there are plenty of open elliptical and you decided to choose the one directly next to me. This is my workout bubble, and you my friend were not invited in. This is a big no-no, just as guys have the urinal rule, the gym has one too. 

There you have it folks, how to avoid being the person at the gym you hate. It’s really not that hard, just follow these gym etiquette rules, use your common sense and if you’re new to the gym then watch what others do. After all, this sense was given to you for a reason!