I’ve been feeling a little bit down on myself lately. I haven’t thought that much of it until the terrifying thought popped into my head: did I make a mistake? It’s not a foreign thought to me, as an indecisive person, I’m always worried about definitive choices I’ve made and whether they were the right choices or not.
One of those definitive choices I’ve made, and a largely life-changing decision, was to transfer to UVM this year. Transferring, although everyone will try to tell you it’s completely normal, and so many people do it, is still a big deal. I really do believe that it changed my life.
I was pretty miserable at my old school. Without naming names, it was a small, liberal arts college in New York City. It was way too small for me, too far away from Manhattan, and there wasn’t a lot to do. And I know I was miserable there. But, all of a sudden, when I start to feel a little bit down these days, I can’t help but think that maybe I shouldn’t have transferred. And that’s a really scary thought.
Once I calm myself down, I realize that I did make the right decision. That even though I have bad days, I’ll always have bad days, no matter where I am. That’s just a fact of life. I also realize that my bad days here are nowhere near as bad as my bad days at my old school. Honestly, no matter how many bad days I have, I would 100% rather be here in Burlington than where I was a year ago.
Transferring is hard. That’s also something people told me, but it’s also something you don’t know the extent of until you do it. I think people really underestimate the work that goes into transferring. It’s basically like doing your senior year of high school and your freshman year of college all over again.
But, instead of being in the same boat as all of the other freshmen, you’re pretty much on your own. It’s up to you to put yourself out there and get involved so you don’t end up lonely. It was especially hard for me because I wasn’t allowed to live on campus. So, instead of meeting a bunch of people in a dorm, I felt isolated from students at my off-campus apartment.
Even though I felt isolated and lonely, I wasn’t going to feel sorry for myself and not do anything to change the way I was feeling. I worked hard. I forced myself to spend as much time as possible on campus, whether that was getting something to eat or just doing homework around other people. I didn’t even have to be with people, it was just being around other people that really helped me feel less isolated. I joined clubs, talked to people in my classes, and even approached random people just to complement their outfits. Basically, I put myself out there, which is not easy, and it’s especially never been an easy thing for me to do. But it worked. I did make friends, I have a bunch of friendly faces of people on campus that I always make sure to say hi to whenever I see them, and I am an active member of clubs that I have a lot of fun doing and I’m connecting with even more people through them.
If anyone asks me if they should transfer, I’ll always say yes, because it was easily one of the best decisions I’ve ever made for myself. However, I’m gonna be completely honest with people as well. It’s not easy. You have to be willing to put work in to make yourself happy. You’re not just going to find immediate happiness just by going to a new school, you have to work to create that happiness for yourself.
Once you do create that happiness for yourself, though, it’s the best feeling of accomplishment I’ve ever felt. I did this for myself, and it worked out. It’s not perfect, nothing’s ever perfect, but I am happy. And that means the world.
**Edited by Emma Accardi