By: Beth Dawkins
As a long-time Mario Kart lover (albeit not very good) I feel inclined to offer my two cents on the courses that make up the antique game. This also gives me an excuse to do some fun ~research~. I’ve decided to start with the worst and leave the best for last, for anticipation and dramatic reasons, of course. Let’s get into it.
32. SNES Mario Circuit 3
Does anybody else get Lego vibes? Not sure why I have such a personal vendetta against this one. You will never catch me playing it. Ever.
31. Peach Gardens
It’s almost like you are in a Princess’s backyard. Except it’s a nightmare and the huge, chomping, black balls are the villain.
30. Ghost Valley
The only good part of this track is the cute little ghosts that are flying around. Other than that, the darkness and dullness of the course is a no-go.
29. Sherbet Land
The only good thing to come of this course is the easy glide of the ice. The penguins boppin’ around really don’t do it for me.
28. Moo Moo Meadows
Do not, I repeat, do not hit the cows. You won’t recover.
27. Peach Gardens
It’s nothing special. And very flat.
26. Bowser’s Castle
This course reminds me way too much of the castle that Shrek saves Fiona from.
25. N64 Bowser’s Castle
Anyone know the difference between this one and Bowser’s Castle?
24. Grumble Volcano
I find this one pretty similar to the above one, Bowser’s Castle.
23. Bowser’s Castle 3
Seldom do I play this track without falling into the lava.
22. Yoshi Falls
Pretty mid. The waterfalls are cool, though.
21. N64 Mario Raceway
Mario’s courses have quite the theme: boring.
20. Desert Hills
What on earth are those stacked brown cacti-looking things?
19. Peach Beach
Who doesn’t love the beach?
18. Daisy Circuit
Reminds me a lot of Las Vegas. If I had ever been.
17. Koopa Cape
Gliding on the water is unparalleled in this track.
16. Mario Circuit
I feel as though this track is the epitome of the entire game. If only it lived up to it.
15. Toad’s Factory
This would be ranked better except the hydraulic press-looking machines are quite terrifying. Don’t get stuck under one.
14. DK Summit
When I play this track it’s almost like I’m competing in the Winter Olympics. Love it.
13. Wario’s Gold Mine
The moving carts of gold are a very nice touch.
12. Dry Dry Ruins
This track is pretty cool, however, there’s nothing special about it.
11. Luigi Circuit
A fun, simple course for beginners. You’ll feel like you’re a NASCAR racer.
10. Coconut Mall
This would be ranked better if only it weren’t for the escalators: choose the wrong one to go up and you’re screwed.
9. Waluigi Stadium
This one is very unique and so fun.
8. DK Mountain
I had to give this one a good rating because it’s my friend, Lydia’s, favorite. Consider this an honorable mention for both the track and my bestie.
7. Shy Guy Beach
Reminds me so much of going to a water park. Nice touch with the pirate ships.
6. Jungle Parkway
The lighting of the track is very calming. The tight edges above the water, however, are not.
5. Maple Treeway
Something about zooming through the imaginary piles of leaves is so satisfying. I highly recommend it.
4. Mushroom Gorge
There’s something about boppin’ around on those mushrooms…
3. Moonview Highway
I really enjoy the views of the city as I zoom around. Just make sure not to get flattened by the cars (which is highly likely).
2. Delfino Square
As someone who has not traveled as much as I would like to, playing this track is almost equivalent. The only downfall is the tight twists and turns.
1. Rainbow Road
I am sure this is highly controversial, however, I stand by my decision. The entire track is unlike any of the others and the graphics are absolutely unbeatable.
**Edited by: Grace Slauterbeck