For decades now we have been fighting for the advocacy of women’s rights and equality of the sexes. Though, we have come a long way and will continue to move forward, there are a few barriers in the way. Recently, the term internalized misogyny has been floating around the internet. So, let us unpack what it is and how we can subconsciously change our thought patterns.
Due to indirect factors of the patriarchy, even as women who support other women we can get trapped into thinking misogynistic thoughts. Think of this as the opposite of toxic masculinity. This often happens to us without even being aware of the sexist thoughts that are occurring within us. These shameful ideas are often projected onto our own selves as well as onto other women as we are so used to seeing women being shamed.
One of the most recognizable toxic traits our society does is criticizing women in power. The media often portrays women who are successful as the enemy, for no reason other than their gender. An example of this is how a lot of us, up until recently held a grudge against Taylor Swift and her music simply because she sings about love and heartbreak. If we look at the music industry as a whole, relationships are one of the main themes in all singer songwriter’s work, so why did we choose to project the sexism onto just her? As a group, both men and women, we are too comfortable with degrading women and we must pledge to change our thought patterns.
On a smaller scale, it is common for us women to avoid femininity by bashing on things associated with our gender. The color pink tends to be seen as a “girly” color. Speaking from personal experiences, when I was younger it used to bother me when my mom would buy me things that were pink or glitter-y. In my own head, I identified those things as making me weak if I wore them just because they were labeled by our society as more feminine. Flash forward to our adult years, we also still shame each other for what we wear. Regardless of how against dress codes we seem to be, a lot of women are still judged for dressing in a “provocative” manner.
Some women unknowingly carry misogyny as a way to seek male validation. Through social media, I’m sure we have all heard of the “pick me” girls, who act like they are “not like most girls” or “different” from the rest. This has become more of a meme than anything, but the intention behind that is that they are beyond femininity as a way to attract men. In no way does every female need to be feminine, but we should fight the idea that we need to act a certain way for the attention of men.
It all comes down to taking more pride in our womanhood. We must unlearn the misogynistic thoughts that are ingrained from our culture and continue to work towards better feminism. Women supporting women is the name of the game.