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A New Chapter

I’m currently sitting in the student center, eating a vegetarian wrap from Green Roof Deli, which is my favorite spot to grab lunch during busy school days. I’m seated under a portrait of Cesar Chavez, observing the sea of students around me, vigorously typing away or chatting among their group of friends.  I’m thinking about how I should take this all in, make a mental note or take even take a photo, because soon, I won’t be eating stale chips in the student center anymore; this student center, at least.

I’m transferring schools in the fall.  It feels weird to write that, because I’ve actually known for quite awhile, but I’m just now starting to tell people.  I’m really excited to transfer, because so many of my friends from home go to schools in-state, and I’ll be closer to my family and my boyfriend.  I’m also going to save a great deal of money. Like, lots and lots of money. There are so many upsides to the situation, but I’m also really sad to be leaving Vermont.  Actually, I was really close to not coming to school up here. I had a horrible experience at orientation and a few panic attacks after the fact. I never wanted to leave home.  I wanted to live with my parents forever and be able to snuggle with my dog whenever I wanted. But now that I’ve spent two years living here, I’m really glad that I took this chance, because coming to Vermont brought me so many beautiful, wonderful, all-around awesome things.

I formed relationships with some of the greatest people I’ve ever met, and I feel so lucky to call these people my friends.  I had a job printing student IDs, and even though it was painfully boring at times, I’m going to miss it, because for the past two years, it was one of the places I called home.  I got to be a graphic designer for UVM’s fashion magazine, which is something I’ve always been interested in but never had the courage to try. I grew in ways that I didn’t expect.  I realized that I don’t care what people think about me. I found that I’m happiest when I’m doing what I want, instead of what others want. I even figured out how to vacuum a floor without actually using a vacuum.  It feels like I’m going to be leaving all of this behind when I go, and that’s terrifying. I worked so hard to become the person I am, and thinking about starting anew makes me wonder what I’ll have left once I leave this place.

I look up at Cesar Chavez, and the glance in his brown acrylic paint eyes is telling me that this is the right decision.  And I know this is the right decision. I love Vermont, but I’m not in love with it. I knew that I needed a change two years ago, and that’s what prompted me to come here.  But now, I need another change. I’ve learned everything that I was meant to learn in Vermont. It served its purpose in my life, and I have to accept that, and embrace this new chapter with open arms.

I’m ready for this new journey.  I’m thrilled that I’ll be so close to some of my most favorite people, and I’m even more thrilled that I won’t be up to my ears in debt once I’ve graduated.  Most of all, though, I’m thrilled that I had this experience, because I learned so much about myself and others. Thank you, Vermont, for two great years.  I’ll see you again soon.

Jenna Toth is a second year student at the University of Vermont, majoring in public communication. Jenna is no stranger to the world of writing-- her grandfather, Owen Canfield, is a former sports writer for the Hartford Courant in Connecticut. She considers him one of her biggest inspirations when it comes to writing. During her downtime, Jenna enjoys long walks to the fridge, playing songs on her ukulele, and cuddling with her black lab, Oliver. If you'd like to read more of Jenna's personal work or learn more about her, check out her social media: Twitter: https://twitter.com/jennalouisetoth Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jennatoth/ Tumblr: https://jennalouisetoth.tumblr.com/
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