Over the course of time that I have spent at the University of Vermont, I have watched my friends slowly find their “one and only”, the crunchy peanut butter to their grape jelly. So in a group that is facing a huge domino effect of love and lust, where does that leave the singles girls, like myself, in the group?
Eventually I became quite good friends with their boyfriends, being comfortable enough where nonsense and stupid behavior was encouraged of each other. It wasn’t until their attempts to set me up with their interested friends, did I start to question myself: Was me being single really an issue of their concern?
I wasn’t unhappy at all, my nights out always left me with crazy stories to tell, I still did weird things to
get a laugh and only on occasion would loneliness interrupted any of my conscious thought – which doctors say is healthy to experience anyways.
When the time came to meet the friend, It was always the same story with the same ending:
Boy and girl meet. Boy likes girl. Girl not so much.
Boy gets over it and puts on his big boy pants. Boy and girl befriend eachother.
My pickiness and growing friend circle confused my girlfriends enough. Though, the experiences made me realize a few things that explained why I wasn’t totally feeling them as much as they were feeling me:
- I knew what I wanted and I wasn’t settling for less.
My ability to make time outside of schoolwork for others was not that impressive.
- For example: If I knew I had work to do, the response after politely declining an invitation was always, “Work comes first.”
- I was analyzing them before they even spoke (Sorry, blame the Virgo in me).
All-in-all, I’m aware that I’m not perfect. Nobody is. What I did come to recognize was that independent habits were much bolder than I thought. So even though a Facebook profile may label me as single, that doesn’t mean I’m alone. It means I’m bettering my self, my half, until my other happens to comes along.
For those taunted by loneliness and constantly wishing for a boyfriend or girlfriend: take a holiday, get to know yourself, and learn how to make yourself happy without the help of others. Being alone is just as important as being with somebody; there is just a necessary time for each.
All being single is is giving time to figure out your wants vs needs, whats important to you vs what you can do without, and how goofy you’ll allow yourself to be vs how serious you’re going to take yourself. So if you’ve been comparing your love life to older seasons of Grey’s Anatomy and using up your dates with Ben & Jerry, step out of your comfort zone and put yourself first for a little bit. Lets break the negative and sentimental image of being single. Its time to figure out a realer and more beautiful you!