February has brought along not only cold temperatures, but also moments of reflection. Valentine’s day is approaching and while it is typically thought of as a day for partners to romance each other, I think friendships need to get love too.Â
Last fall I came into freshman year expecting new friendships to instantly click and I would find my friend group for the rest of my time at school. I watched as my best friends from home built their connections and social life while mine was comparatively lackluster. At least it felt that way in the moment. I became close with the few people I had met, but I felt unsatisfied because my home friends had their big friend groups. Winter break occurred and that’s when it all made sense for me. Why was I so focused on comparing my social life to other peoples when I did not even truly want what my other friends wanted? On a surface level, I wanted to find a lot of friends. However, I’ve learned that I value deep individual friendships more than being a part of a large friend group.
You might know the saying “comparison is the thief of joy.” Once I changed my perspective from “I’m behind everyone else” to “I have everything that I need right in front of me” everything fell into place. We need at least one good friend. It is science, look it up. There is no point in putting pressure on ourselves to make as many friends as we can possibly find when close friendships form naturally.
I share this because I love my friends. I love sitting around the couch, laughing about crazy stories and inside jokes. I love spontaneous trips to chipotle with a side of car chat. I love watching them work hard and succeed. I love baking and cooking for them. I especially love writing long paragraphs in their birthday cards like a love letter.Â
They are my rocks.
This month, and every month that follows, I urge you to tell your friends you love them. Tell them you want to go take a walk and get a sweet treat with them. Tell them how much you value them and your friendship. Give them a hug. Go out to a new cafe for breakfast with them. Tell them that they are the funniest person ever. Show them your appreciation in your own way.