A Letter To 17-Year-Old Me

Dear 17 year old self, 

Lorde teased her new song. Can you believe it? The last time Lorde released new music I was quite literally, your age. In this song, Lorde mentions being 17 and with that one lyric I found myself thinking about you and how much we’ve grown. I have the same car and I still make everyone call her ChiChi; I’ve put thousands of miles on her. I still love a crisp Diet Coke in the afternoon and the music I used to listen to has slowly been reintroduced to my newest playlists. But you and I have learned a lot over the years and while we both are afraid of change, I’ve learned to embrace it when I can. Please don’t sweat the small stuff, here are the most important things you need to know. 

It’s okay to like different things. Seriously. You used to exclusively wear hoodies, but now I’ve found that crewnecks are infinitely more comfortable. It’s not always as simple as that; it’s okay to want to learn about different things, to take classes you never thought you’d take or add on another minor (we did, by the way). So what, at 17 years old you thought you had your whole life planned out from undergrad to graduate school. I regret to inform you that I lasted one full year before switching my major. I found something more interesting, an area that fulfilled me, and that plan I made at 17 years old went right out the window. Don’t let habit scare you away from change. 

I have different friends now; I don’t really keep in contact with the group that you were never separated from. I know you’re probably bummed about that. I remember how hard it was when I realized just how much the distance was growing between me and them. And it hurt too, because it seemed as though the distance didn’t affect them. They would still hangout from time to time and suddenly, it was me that was on the outside. It took a while to realize what this meant. We, I, was undeniably a different person and I was learning to fill in the bigger shoes of being away from home. I went from being a fish in a lake to a fish in the ocean and I was learning how to swim in a different direction. It was hard to not put the blame on myself and wonder what was wrong with me. Nothing is wrong with me. I am a different person, with different interests, and there will always be people that want my friendship. So don’t get down on yourself when you see them together, cherish the memories you had because in the end, you can always come back to them. 

Call your mom. Call your dad, your sisters, and your Nana. Call everyone. I know it seems silly because you’re still living at home. But once you move away, you’re going to crave their voices in ways you never thought possible. I love UVM and I love my major. I love my friends, and the clubs I’m in. But my biggest support system is all the way back in New Jersey and they are the ones I need the most. After an exam, my Mom is the first person I call. My sister hears every embarrassing story and every accomplishment. Dad gets random pictures that remind me of him. You need to tell them that you are thinking about them as much as they are thinking about you. They are always going to be there for you. 

I know this all seems scary or maybe this excites you. Perhaps, it’s both. It always gets better and life always gets bigger. It may seem scary, but I’m with you the entire time. 

Sincerely, 

Your 21 year old self 

• college
• high school
• life