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Breanna Coon / Her Campus

What it’s Like Having My Mom as My Best Friend

Most people are genuinely surprised, shocked, intrigued–ALL the emotions–when they hear me say “my mom is my best friend.” 


Growing up, my mom obviously wasn’t always my best friend. She had to discipline me, provide for me, and do all those mom things that best friends typically aren’t responsible for. We got into fights, I decided I liked my dad better for a period of time, but we always loved each other. 

As time went on, the line between parent and friend started to blur. She became my closest confidant, my go-to for any type of advice, and the first person I wanted to talk to when something big or exciting happened in my life. 


It’s confusing how it happened, because clearly most mother-daughter relationships aren’t like this, given most of my friends’ visceral reactions to our relationship; but our relationship is the thing in my life I am most grateful for. Let’s start from the beginning.


My mom and I started our road to best friendship when I was eight years old. She was driving me to school one morning (what a saint! I really could have taken the bus…) and a PSA came on the radio warning of some venereal disease, and in order to be safe you should always use a condom. The contents of this PSA were foreign to me, so of course I asked my mom about it. She explained the concept of venereal diseases and how condoms were used to protect men and women during sex. The problem was I didn’t know what sex was. To find out sex was more than just laying in bed naked with someone you love and kissing them… I was disgusted. The thing is, though, my mom was completely open with me! And that’s when my three life rules were established:

  1. Don’t lie to mommy

  2. Don’t have sex without a condom

  3. Don’t get driven or get into a car with a driver who is under the influence

Intense for an eight year old, I know. But it established a sense of shamelessness, openness, and honesty between my mom and I, and it was important in creating a healthy mother-daughter relationship for the rest of my life. 


Of course, there were times I broke the rules. Mainly the lying part. But my mom always caught me; I’m a terrible liar. When that happened, we would have very adult conversations about the issue. I wouldn’t be grounded or punished in any way, because let’s be honest, does grounding a teenager ever truly inspire them to change their behavior? As long as we had a conversation that led me to understanding what I should do better going forward, it was a successful conversation. 

The shamelessness and honesty of our relationship was helpful as I navigated my teenage years (I’m still doing that, but I’m a bit more mature than I was at say, 15). I talked to her about my raw feelings, my friendship struggles, my relationship issues, and my moral dilemmas; and she listened and heard me. She wouldn’t judge, and she would impart her–in my opinion– infinite wisdom upon me. As she always says, “I was a teenager once too.” It seems most parents tend to forget they were teenagers, and that their parents’ methods of grounding them and having a “hush hush” attitude surrounding certain topics, like sex and drugs, weren’t all too effective. 


Now, in college, when those “hush hush” topics are more prevalent than ever, my relationship with my mom is so important to me. I text her every day, FaceTime her almost every day, and miss her more every day. I ask for advice, ask how she is doing; I tell her about my conundrums, my anxieties, and my day to day subtleties; we cry, laugh, and talk together like all best friends do. It really couldn’t matter less to me what other people think, because I have the best best friend in the world. 

Rachel is a second year studying Speech Communication Disorders at the University of Virginia in the Curry School of Education and Human Development. She is involved with Jewish life on Grounds and proudly works as a Student Ambassador in the Rotunda. In her limited free time, she enjoys drawing abstract art, catching up with friends, and attempting to stay healthy.
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