When it comes to food, I’m not a picky eater. I’ll eat or try almost anything (except celery!). But when it comes to books, I’m as picky as they get. To win me over, a book’s gotta have the right stuff. So, here’s an insider’s guide to this book snob’s criteria.
No pictures on the cover.
Photo Courtesy Pinterest.
We all know the old adage, “Don’t judge a book by its cover,” but for me, that’s exactly what I do. Sorry, but tough. The first thing you notice is the cover, so, as a book designer, you’ve gotta make it hit right off the bat. A book cover is the first thing that makes it or breaks it for me. If a book has a photo of a person on the cover–regardless if the person is stock image quality or a still from a movie edition–it’s a nope from me. A book is supposed to evoke and awaken your imagination! Putting an actual person on the cover defeats the purpose of your imagining. If the cover has an illustration of a person, on the other hand, than it’s fair game. I’m all for illustrations. That’s just someone else doing the same job the book makes me do–to imagine.
Third person narration is a huge plus.
The style of the narrative matters just as much as what the story is about. And the point of view of the narrator is big deal with me. I’m not as strict with this criteria as I am with cover art, though. I do give some leeway. But generally, if the story is told in third person (i.e. “Maria picked up the book and sniffed it, inhaling the pages’ aromatic scent.”), I’m already invested. However, first person narration (“I put the book down, savoring the feel of the ruffled edges of the pages pass under my fingers.”) is a fifty-fifty chance with me. Sometimes (and this is really snobbish to say, I’ll admit) first person can come across as a cop-out. If the book has to be in first person, that narrator better have some entertaining insight or comments to make about their own story. Basically, if the first person narrator doesn’t show any personal flair in their filtering of a story (see Percy Jackson and the Olympians), I see no reason why the author should write in first when third will do the job just fine, if not better.
There can be romance…but not in my face.
This comes from a genre preference. If I were to browse down the romance aisle, yes, I’d have to amend this criterion. But I typically browse titles in the young adult section that are specifically not labeled as romance. So, for the books I do read, I like it when the romance is slowly earned. That is, my favorite stories are when the love interests don’t fully express or act on their feelings until the end of a book or series. A slow burn keeps me hooked and begging for some heat! If the story just gives me the romance, I’m less inclined to be invested. There’s no suspense to cling to. My basic philosophy for literary romance is that it has to come out of character development, and I have to be a part of that process on the sidelines. Also, a romantic relationship can’t be the focus of the plot or of the characters to keep me reading. No matter how much I’m screaming at the characters to get together already, they can’t do it until the very end.
Size does matter.
Photo Courtesy Shannonpopkin.org.
This isn’t something that will actually turn me away from a book, but: the thicker the better! I’m weak for thicc books. And if it’s a series of thick books…Mmm. I’m not sure why I prefer long books. But I guess it means that I’ll have more time in that story’s world to enjoy it all. If I’m to be invested, I wanna stay as long as I can. And (here’s my inner snob again) a longer book implies there is more plot, characterization, and world building. (This, of course, doesn’t apply to all books; I’ve read plenty of non-thicc books.)
Now that you’ve learned how much of a snob I can be towards books, what are some of your turn-offs or turn-ons for a book? No matter our differences, bottomline: as long as you find books you like to read, that’s all that matters!