How do the unspoken lessons we learn as children shape the way we navigate our adulthood? Through personal reflection and sociology, this article explores the hidden curriculum and how we can encourage institutions to challenge unequal social and gender norms.
DISCLAIMER: The ideas discussed in my article are concepts and readings from an introductory sociology class at the University of Virginia. The research, concepts, and theories are NOT my original work, nor am I a professional in this field. I am sharing what I have learned with my community, hoping to reflect on these ideas and see how they can relate to experiences on college campuses and how we can mitigate their effects.
A Personal Anecdote
A couple of months ago, while I was working out at my gym at home, an older man flagged me down to talk to him. He was someone I noticed would approach young women in the gym, but I had never personally spoken to him. He told me that he noticed I never talked to anyone in the gym, and that he has been watching me because of that. I immediately felt out of place and uncomfortable.
The reason I went to the gym was to work out and get into a comfortable zone of my own, not to converse with others, especially with a man who had just informed me that he has been watching me for the past couple of months. Despite that, I nodded and smiled along because I didn’t want to be rude. The cherry on top of the conversation was when he pointed out my smile and said I should do it more often, because it would fuel his workout.
I remember feeling incredibly uncomfortable, but I also remember not knowing how to react. I have always told myself that if anyone ever tried to creep on me, I would tell them off by any means necessary. However, in this moment, I didn’t. I knew I didn’t owe a random man a conversation or even a smile. Yet, I found myself going against what I had told myself I would do, listening along and smiling.
When I saw him for the second time, he tried to approach me again, but I responded completely differently. I told him I was just there to work out, and he backed off. I didn’t feel the need to be polite or engage in a conversation with him just because I had before. But it made me wonder: Why wasn’t I able to set that boundary the first time when he made me uncomfortable?
This thought didn’t come back to me until we learned in sociology about the expectations girls absorb as they grow up. As far back as I can remember, girls are taught to be agreeable and to consider other people’s feelings. While these expectations may seem so “little” in the grand scheme of things, what happens when they make it harder for girls to speak up because they feel bad about prioritizing their own comfort?
What is the hidden curriculum?
In my introductory sociology class at the University of Virginia, I learned about the hidden curriculum, popularized by educational theorist Phillip W. Jackson in his book “Life in Classrooms” (1968). This idea refers to the unspoken lessons students learn through institutional expectations, relationships, and routines, rather than through formal academic instruction. These lessons often teach children how to behave and what is expected of them.
In sociologist Karin A Martin’s article, “Becoming a Gendered Body: Practices of Preschools” (1998), she observed five preschool classrooms and examined how everyday practices teach children to understand gender differently.
For instance, Martin discusses how clothing can affect a child’s time at school because traditionally feminine clothing restricts girls’ movement, unlike traditionally masculine clothing that boys typically wear. She also observed how teachers’ expectations differ depending on whether the child is a boy or a girl. Oftentimes, behaviors that boys were allowed to participate in were strongly discouraged in girls because they were expected to act more formally.
The differences between girls and boys matter because they are learning beyond classroom rules; they are also learning what kind of behavior is considered appropriate for them. Since these expectations differ by gender, children may come to see them as natural rather than something socially learned. The hidden curriculum is not saying that teachers are always trying to deliberately disadvantage girls. Instead, it says these gender expectations are reinforced in everyday interactions, even though many adults don’t realize that they are doing so.
from preschool to college: why these lessons matter!
Although Martin’s research focused on the preschool classroom, it raised the question of how those learned gender expectations persist throughout our lives and how they shape us. Girls who are constantly encouraged to be quiet, kind, accommodating, or considerate will start to exhibit these expectations as adults. They might not advocate for themselves because they don’t want to be viewed as rude or confrontational.
When I think back to my experience in the gym, it makes me reflect on my interaction with that man. I knew I was entitled to end the conversation, especially since it made me uncomfortable. I didn’t have to smile or nod along just because he was speaking to me. Yet, my first response was to remain polite and considerate rather than tell him how I felt.
Learning about the hidden curriculum in class made me totally rethink how my expectations around being polite influenced the way I navigated an uncomfortable situation and how other girls and women may feel the same way. When we are taught to repeatedly consider how a man feels, we start to prioritize their comfort over our own. Even though we have the right to establish boundaries, doing so sometimes feels impossible because of what we have been taught.
How can we mitigate these effects?
The first step is recognizing that the hidden curriculum exists, but institutions can help shape these expectations differently by challenging them.
- Educators should examine and reflect on how they treat children in their everyday classrooms: Are girls and boys given different instructions on how to behave or how to respond? Who is being given greater freedom? Are you telling one gender to be more assertive or loud than the other? If teachers can reflect on these expectations and try to address them, they can create a fairer and safer learning environment.
- Children should be taught about boundaries, consent, and respect from an early age. These lessons should not place sole responsibility on the girl but rather teach everyone that boundaries must be respected, so the expectation is not placed on one gender.
- Colleges/Institutions can examine their existing practices and culture. They can provide accessible resources, safe and clear reporting procedures, and offer talks and modules about boundaries and consent.
Rethinking what we teach girls
Again, when I think back to my experience at the gym, I am reminded of the difference between how I wanted to react and how I actually reacted. I don’t view my response to the man as a failure – I was put into an uncomfortable situation, and I reacted in a certain way in that moment. What is important to me now is that I can reflect on that experience and consider which expectations influenced my response and how they might influence other people to respond to similar situations.
The hidden curriculum is one way we can examine those expectations. From preschools to college campuses, these institutions shape our understanding of what is expected of us. While we can’t assume every girl’s experience is the same or that this concept explains every response, it allows us to question those expectations that encourage young girls to prioritize politeness over their own comfort and to work towards an environment where everyone is entitled to speak up and set their own personal boundaries.
If you ever find yourself in an uncomfortable situation or need someone to talk to, just know you do not have to navigate it alone. Resources include UVA’s Violence Prevention (https://wellbeingservices.studenthealth.virginia.edu/well-being-services/violence-prevention-advocacy) and UVA’s Just Report It (https://justreportit.virginia.edu/)
To learn more about how these issues can effect college campuses, check out our article on the Cornell rape case and its broader implications for campus safety and accountability: https://www.hercampus.com/school/uva/the-importance-of-student-journalism-the-case-of-the-cornell-rapists/
Sources:
Martin, Karin A. (1998). “Becoming a Gendered Body: Practices of Preschools.” American Sociological Review
Jackson, Philip W. (1968). Life in Classrooms.