For the longest time, I remember being a fat girl. It’s taken me a while to become comfortable discussing my weight or even acknowledging it to begin with. It’s not something I am ashamed to say out loud, and therefore, you shouldn’t be either, but it is something I have come to accept. I get out of breath coming up the high hills of the University of Virginia’s Grounds, and sometimes it takes me an extra minute or two to compose myself before continuing my walk. Nonetheless, I still love Grounds and most importantly, I still love my body.
Relationships
One thing I have had to learn more and more about, whether in relationships or when talking to new people, is fitting my body into the equation.
We live in a world where it can be challenging to put aside people’s physicalities to focus on their personalities. Still, we live in a world that places heavy emphasis on how skinny someone needs to be to be considered attractive. This has made relationships incredibly difficult for me in the past. I would meet a guy, talk to him, fall head over heels in love with him, be practically adjacent to being in a relationship, just for him not to want to commit. The experience would truly break any girl’s self-esteem, but it hurts your self-esteem even more when you know you’re not everyone’s type. When you know that sometimes people see you struggling and immediately blame you for it, it is tempting to think that if you had only tried a little more, you would be able to cut off the extra pounds. It’s already difficult when you know that some guys look at you amongst your friends, knowing you’re the least attractive girl in the posse.
New Chapter at UVA
This upcoming year at the University of Virginia will be the year that I try new things in relationships. I think it’s easy for chubby girls to hide behind their weight as an excuse not to want to be the first person to make a move or to avoid having to flirt or talk romantically with someone, so I’ve decided that I will try new romantic things that I haven’t tried before. I no longer want to be limited by my weight, or, more so, by what people think when they see me. I am a firm believer that there is someone out there for everybody. Sometimes it takes a little longer to find that particular person, but they are out there. I am saying all of this to say that this upcoming year should be a challenge for everyone. To go out and try new things romantically, especially if you feel as if there is something that hinders your romantic prospects.
Challenging insecurities
So…if you think you’re too tall or too short, too thin or too fat, if you have braces that you think might scare people from miles away, or maybe you have chronic acne, talk to them anyway!
Perhaps you have specific disabilities, the ones you can see physically, or the ones that restrain you from the inside. Maybe you think your skin color isn’t their type, or you believe your hair will throw them off. Talk to them! Make this the year of love!
Let’s make this the year that we talk to people we never thought we would talk to, or the year we date someone who wasn’t like any of the people we’ve dated before, or maybe date someone for the first time.
In a world that wants us to stay separated by our differences, beliefs, and so much more, it is time to do something revolutionary and love each other regardless of those things. In the end, if whatever you’re insecure about pushes people away from you romantically, then they were never meant for you to begin with. And if you fail, maybe he doesn’t respond to your DM (direct message), or the relationship doesn’t work—at least you can say you gave it your all. That you loved and you lost, but you still loved to begin with.
Being a fat girl has changed many things for me. I look at myself differently for sure, but it has also taught me that there is so much more to people besides just how they look on the outside. Now more than ever, it is crucial for me to remember that there are many things people can’t just change in a night, and that nobody is perfect; instead, everyone has to work to be the best they can be. My love life has changed significantly over the years, especially as my weight fluctuates, but I know that my soulmate is out there somewhere for me, and they won’t care how I look on the outside; they’ll care about who I am as a person. That makes me more than excited to meet them and to love them for who they are as well.