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Have you ever wanted to be a feminist, but didn’t know how? Have you grasped the ideas of gender equality, but are fashionably challenged? Did you struggle for hours deciding what to wear to the Women’s March? Being a feminist can be hard, believe me. I’m a feminist, and sometimes I spend so much time fighting for equality that I forget to change out of my pajamas. Luckily, I have created the go-to, perfect, head-to-toe look for everyday feminists. Let’s be real: the way women look is the most important facet of pure, intersectional feminism. It’s what Sheryl Sandberg would want.
Hair – The second I cut my hair into a pixie cut, my high school labeled me a stereotypical feminist. At the time, I wasn’t sure what that meant, but now that I’ve attended the University of Twitter, I know that my short hair gives me the freedom to crush the patriarchy without looking for a hairband. Someone once told me that short hair is a form of rebellion from the long hair that women are expected to have. But, if I hate men, like all feminists, why would I want to mimic their hair?
Photo courtesy of harpersbazaar.com
Makeup – This one’s important, because it can determine you from a real feminist or a fake feminist. Real feminists have two options. You can never wear makeup, because it was designed to make women fit societal beauty standards designed by men. For this choice, I recommend a toner made out of male tears to keep your skin looking refreshed. On the other hand, you can wear a full face of makeup at all times. This shows that you’re reclaiming makeup to provide self-confidence and a positive artistic outlet. This comes with a price, though. If you’re this kind of feminist, your dates will try to take you swimming. Do not fall for the male trickery, they’re trying to reveal you as a fake feminist. A fake feminist is someone who feels comfortable in their bare skin and a full face of makeup. What are they trying to do? Lie to men about their looks? Send gender equality 40 years backwards? Evil!
Photo courtesy of tadelesmith youtube channel
Jewelry – The best feminist jewelry always comes from Etsy. If it means spending $40 on a necklace shaped like an ovary, do it. In fact, my roommate and I have matching venus earrings that she got from a small, organically run, vegan boutique that we wear as our equivalent of friendship bracelets. After all, the world needs to know that we support women. It doesn’t matter if the music industry is inherently racist, you can’t point that out because it tears down other women. If you tear down other women, who will you have to wear matching feminist earrings with?
Yes, this is my ear. This ear is a feminist.
Top – Here’s the fun part! There are so many feminist shirts out there to choose from! In fact, there are entire companies dedicated to capitalizing on feminism! My favorite shirts are the ones that have boobs on them, or a lack of shirt at all! Free the nipple will cure sexism! Or, you could be like me and wear a shirt that says, “Nevertheless, she persisted,” to show that you’re up with the current events. Best of all, to really get your point across, just wear a shirt that says “I HATE MEN” in the same font from the Flawless music video.
Photo courtesy of feministapparel.com
Bottoms – This is tricky, because you have to decide which movement of feminism you want to follow, completely based on your choice of bottoms. You could call back to the 1920’s and wear pants to show that you can be just as practical and strong as men. On the other hand, you could wear flowy skirts or a dress to drive home that you’re a woman, and women can like dresses. My personal favorite is a mix between the two, and luckily, TopShop has come to the rescue! These are skinny jeans, with a black lace skirt ON TOP!! Finally! I can be the ultimate feminist!
Photo courtesy of topshop.com
Shoes – Easy. Bright red stilettos, preferably Louboutin to get the entire red look. The sharper and higher the heel, the better. In fact, if you want to take a pencil sharpener to the heel and turn it into a shank like you did with your nubby pencils in 5th grade, that’s the best way to go. If you guys haven’t figured out the point of these shoes yet….well…it’s so we can maim and kill every man we see by pushing them down as a symbol of pushing down the patriarchy, and then jumping on them repeatedly. It’s what Gloria Steinem would want.
Photo courtesy of barneys.com
Finally, our entire outfit is done. It’s beautiful. It’s practical, sexy, old timey, comfortable, and anything else you could ever want. The second you walk out the door in the morning, Oprah will call you and say, “Hey. I can tell you look good today. Good job at being a feminist.” Emma Watson will greet you at the door, and bring you to her next UN speech. We’ve done it. We’ve cured sexism with this outfit. We should be proud.
Photo courtesy of my Polyvore skills
Author’s note: Okay, I feel the need to clarify that I just made fun of myself for 8 paragraphs. Of course feminists don’t hate men. Of course we don’t want to kill them. Yes, I wear both dresses and pants, and I don’t do either for a political statement. I love makeup, but I also love not wearing it because I’m lazy. Overall, a big part of feminism is that you should wear whatever the heck you want. If that means you want to wear those weird jeans with the skirt on them, do it! Make whatever choices are best for you, because the only aesthetic that feminism has is the equality aesthetic.