My Case Against Birkenstocks

            According to almost all of my friends and my mother, Birkenstocks are basically the best shoes to ever exist. Well, I vehemently reject this notion. I hate them, and I know pretty much all of UVA’s female population will disagree with my opinion, but I can’t keep it in anymore!

Here is a direct quote from myself in response to my roommate trying to convince me that Birkenstocks are as amazing as everyone thinks: “I don’t care about comfort! I want my feet to bleed for fashion!” Everyone’s first response when I say that I don’t like these sandals is about how comfortable they are. Okay? Let me tell you, I have owned a lot of shoes in my life and maybe three pairs were truly uncomfortable. Three out of a number upwards of 100. Shoes are supposed to be comfortable; it’s part of their basic job description, and when they aren’t, they’re usually so cute that I don’t even care!

Also, Birkenstocks are ridiculously expensive in the United States because they’re imported. These sandals cost roughly $100 to $150 for the traditional style, depending on where you buy them. I cannot remember the last time I spent that much on shoes. I’m not sure I’ve ever even owned shoes that expensive. In my opinion, everyone is spending all this money on shoes because there is a sort of quasi-cult around them. I’ve seen it happen in my friend group. One by one, they have fallen sway to sheer saturation. They’re everywhere so I might as well get them, right? There must be a reason everyone is wearing them, right?

I say no! They’re not even cute guys! I know they’re supposed to be good for your feet, but we’re young! This is when we’re supposed to let our feet go numb for fashionable shoes and not care about the consequences! I’m the first to admit that I am all for people wearing whatever makes them comfortable and confident, but there are three things I cannot stand; Birkenstocks, Crocs, and Blavy (black and navy). Let the Birkenstocks phenomena end. Please.