I woke up one Saturday morning ready to never eat a cupcake ever again…ever. Following my Friday night escapade, I late night ate so many cupcakes, that the mere sight of red velvet baked goods gave me an instant sensation of projectile vomit. Later that day, I lounged around wallowing in self pity from my episode of gluttony trying to battle a headache that felt like Arnold Schwarzenegger playing one of those carnival games where you use a sledgehammer to hit a target as hard as you can to win a baby sized stuffed animal. And let me tell you, he won about 6 million stuffed animals that day. Anyways while watching documentaries about ballerinas on my brother’s Netflix account (hello fourth year, sorry bro), I got an email from Victoria’s Secret : the swimsuit sale. As if my day couldn’t have gotten any worse, a sense of impending doom came over me at the thought of flaunting my belly pooch for a week of Spring Break, Eastern Caribbean style. I needed a fix and I needed it ASAP. So I convinced a friend of mine also in hangover recovery mode to impulsively sign up for a month of unlimited Pure Barre classes (because that is how long I estimated it would take me to work off the 3 dozen cupcakes).
So what’s Pure Barre? It’s a fitness class inspired by ballet, more specifically the ballet barre. The claim to fame is that it uses small isometric movements to “lift your seat, tone your thighs, abs and arms and burn fat in record breaking time.” I think the body buff gods heard my prayers. Plus I danced for pretty much my whole pre-college life so I was pumped to rekindle the flame.
We showed up our first day, expecting to do a few arabesques, a plié or two and call it a day. I mean, I can still do a split in my old age, and we’d probably be surrounded by out of shape middle-aged women. I was going to dominate, I was ready. Oh no, I certainly was not. Using a few props like a resistance tube and a cute yet devilish little red ball, you work on strength training through small motions in bizarre bodily positions that makes your muscles burn so hard you feel like you’ve been thrown into the inferno. I was sweating…from strength training. I was using muscles in my seat (aka fancy word for booty) that I didn’t even know I had. Oh and the population was sorority girl central with the occasional impressively toned peppered hair fifty-year-old that put me to shame in well every single move, including stretching. This was not your average dance class, pure barre was business. We basically walked out immobilized from an exercise class that probably could have brought the Terminator to tears (sorry Arnold). But we already bought a month unlimited online, so we were certainly going to get our money’s worth. We were going to take on pure barre.
I just finished my 10th class in 12 days on Friday, and I think I may be addicted. It’s different, it’s fun, it’s never boring and it flies by so quickly because you have to stay focused the entire time or you will most likely fall over. The teachers are all young, super fit and extremely helpful every class. Plus, the studio is basically in UVA’s backyard. So is pure barre the hidden instant quick fix to my gluttony? No, I will say my one qualm is that there’s no cardio pumping involved so I still have to trek over to the AFC for a daily run. But I am starting to see a pure barre ledge, you know that little perky part on the bottom of Adrianna Lima’s booty that makes her look fly in a swim suit. Yeah, there’s muscles to work for that!
So what do I say about pure barre? I’ll reevaluate at the end of the month whether to stick with it or continue to fight for mat space at the AFC. The decision will probably be determined by how far I’ve drained my bank account after spring break, since the price is pretty steep at $20 buckaroos per class, or slightly discounted packages (although the new client special is a good deal, 100 George Washingtons for a month unlimited). But moral of the story is, I am overly pleased and think I’m in this for the long run. Pure barre gets a big thumbs up.
Visit Pure Barre of Charlottesville’s Facebook page for more info!