This past week, I’ve done something totally new and totally out of my social comfort zone. I joined Tinder. My luck getting a guy has been historically….unsuccessful. The guys I crush on or start to talk to either turn out taken, gay, or disappear after some promising flirtation only to show up years later sitting in front of me and by then I’m too chicken to say hi because what if he doesn’t remember my name. So, yeah, I thought I’d go out on a (really far) limb and give Tinder a try. And this is what I have discovered and learned.
*First, let me preface my experiment with that I made an account seeking a relationship. I’m not interested in hook-ups or whatever. (And I think I came across a profile seeking a “whatever.” It was interesting, to say the least.) Second, I am very picky and distrustful of remote and digital introductions, so this was all taken with a grain of salt.
1. Choosing the profile pics is hard. You want something that gives a taste of your personality but nothing too risque (not that I have anything like that). For me, this was hard since I apparently don’t have many photos of me not marching band related. I literally only have one good photo of me not in a band context. This taught me to be more generous with picture taking, especially with group photos (protip: shows that you’re sociable!).
2. With profile pics, I’ve also learned that there are three styles of profile pics guys seem to favor: holding a dead fish, shirtless, or close-up of looking directly (and awkwardly) at the camera. The number of profiles like that was outstanding. I feel like someone could base an anthropology project or something on that. Anyone else encounter this?
3. Being matched with someone is both exhilarating and about as ominous as one of those clickbait, spam thingies that say “You’re the One-Hundredth Visitor! Claim your gift card now!” For one, yay! Someone at least thinks I look cute or something. But two-and this is where my distrust really kicks in–why did they swipe right on me? Was it a freak accident? Or are they genuinely interested in me? How much stock do I put into being matched with someone?
4. With one of the matches I got, the guy messaged me. And, Reader, I messaged back. But the whole time I messaged him (I eventually stopped; no spark on my side) I couldn’t help feeling so….removed. That’s something I both appreciate and very much dislike about Tinder and the concept of digital dating. Messaging someone I’ve never met before made it all seem unreal, and therefore I could do whatever I want without repercussions, such as ghosting. (It’s bad, but I’m really good at ghosting.)
Courtesy of giphy.com
Yet at the same time, there is so much lacking that is found in actually meeting a person. Their voice, their mannerisms, their facial expressions. I find those to be pretty helpful in determining yay or nay for a guy.
So, will I keep my Tinder account and wait it out? Maybe for another week. But, ultimately, I will swipe left. It was a nice experiment to try something new but it’s definitely not for me I’ve learned.