In our highly-competitive culture, it can feel like you’re constantly failing. You may have failed a quiz. You may have gotten rejected from a club or an internship that you really wanted. You may be struggling to make friends or find community during this COVID-19 pandemic. You may even be experiencing all of these things and more.
I am here to tell you that you are NOT failing and give you a few ways to deal with those overwhelming feelings.
- How will you look back on this time in five years?
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When I start getting overwhelmingly stressed out, especially about school-related things, I try to put this stress into perspective. Odds are in five years, you will not remember what you got on your chemistry midterm or that you didn’t make the debate team. You are only doing the best you can in that moment, and it doesn’t help your mental health to scrutinize your performance.
- Talk to someone you trust about how you are feeling.
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It is always better to say what you’re feeling aloud. Even if the person you trust can’t give you an easy fix, it is so much better than keeping all that negativity bottled up. Also, there’s a good chance they feel the same or have felt the same toward failures in their lives. This way, you know you are not alone.
- Don’t compare yourself to other people.
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A lot of times when you fail at something, your first instinct may be to think to yourself, “Well, if this person can do it so well, why can’t I?” Stop doing that! Each person faces a completely different set of opportunities, resources, and mentalities that may help or hinder their ability to succeed at something. There can be no fair comparisons between people, so don’t tell yourself that you’re less than someone for not succeeding at everything they do.
- NEVER GIVE UP!
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After so many setbacks, it may seem like the perfect time to give up. You can’t ruminate on your failures like this. Instead, reframe your perspective; try to think of all the ways you have succeeded instead of the ways you have failed. Pick up the pieces and keep pushing forward.
You are way more successful, talented, and strong than you give yourself credit for!