It wasn’t yet 10 o’clock on that cool, early-fall night, but the girl on the bus, dressed in a short dress and her face made up, was already asleep. When she opened her eyes, they were glazed over. Her head bobbed as the bus weaved its way through Charlottesville, dropping off and picking up undergraduates, some coming back from sporting events, others going from one party to the next. She leaned against a young man, who had his arm around her.
The bus was filled with intoxicated students, filling the air with an unavoidable buzz of rowdiness, but this girl sat with a blank look on her face. Another student, sober and concerned about her peer, offered the girl a ride home once they get off the bus. Before the student could get a response, the guy with the intoxicated girl insisted that she was fine and that her car was at his house, answering for her as though she was incapable of doing so herself.
An older man on the bus criticized the girl for “acting like you’re dead,” and called her an idiot. The concerned student repeatedly asked her if she was okay, disturbed by this situation and how the girl was being treated. With a brief glance, the drunk girl insisted that she was fine with the guy she was with. By happenstance, the concerned student got off at the same bus stop as the drunk girl, and they parted ways.
Granted, it wasn’t clear the relationship between the intoxicated girl and her acquaintance. Hopefully, the girl went straight to bed or was given assistance for her condition, and did not drive home. But students at the University of Virginia should take this issue to heart. There has been a push this semester to instill in the community: #hoosgotyourback. The Not on Our Grounds website says that, “we engage students across Grounds by asking for them to look out for one another and share their bystander stories.” It is not easy to be a bystander. The concerned student had to be persistent in asking about the girl’s well-being, and was brushed off repeatedly.
Despite the fact that the mandatory Sexual Violence training claimed that most students would stand up for another student and be an active bystander, this situation reflects something different. It’s troubling that these alarming situations still seem prevalent among our peers, and how the bystanders attempts to help the girl were brushed off and ignored. This intoxicated girl was harassed on the bus for her condition. The irony is, this event occurred on a Friday, when members of the community are encouraged to wear their Not on Our Grounds #hoosgotyourback t-shirts.
It isn’t easy being an active bystander, but it has to be done. Those signs on the bus with questions like, “Are you okay?” “Should we leave?” “Can I help you get home?” Those are important questions. It doesn’t matter what time of day it is, or if they are with another person. Be an active bystander, because for hoos to have your back, you need to have theirs.
Fourth-year Julia Voight contributed to this article.