They say college is the place to find yourself and create your path, but what if you’ve already found a significant part of that journey?
During my senior year of high school, I began to transition into adulthood. Along with that change, I met my amazing girlfriend, Ciara. We spent much of our final year of high school together, learning the ins and outs of each other’s lives. While some of my peers were anxious about whether staying with their high school partners would limit their ability to explore college life, I felt certain. From the moment I met Ciara, I knew that I wasn’t willing to give up what we had. Looking back, it was one of the best decisions I could have made.
Maintaining a long-distance relationship in college comes with its challenges, but we’ve made it work through what I call the “Three Cs.”
Communication
It might sound cliché, but it cannot be overstated that no relationship can survive without communication—especially a long-distance one. Communication is the foundation of a strong relationship. Here are some ways Ciara and I stay connected despite the distance:
1.Frequent Phone Calls and FaceTime: While nothing can truly replace being face-to-face, hearing your partner’s voice or seeing them digitally can help bridge the gap. Even with busy schedules, making time for each other is crucial. Quality time is a common love language, and prioritizing it helps maintain a sense of closeness.
- Ideas to Make Phone Calls More Engaging:
- Share daily updates and talk through any struggles or successes, just as you would in person.
- Play games together! Ciara and I found an app called “lovify” really fun. You can also cook/ bake together, play charades, or screen share tik tok. Definitely take advantage of Facetimes screen share feature!
- Fall asleep on the phone. If you’re comfortable and able to leave the call on overnight, it can bring a sense of comfort and presence.
2.Text Updates Throughout the Day: Keep each other informed about the small details of your day, whether it’s sleeping through a class, feeling unwell, or receiving good news. One of the most helpful things I have done is text many details of my day to Ciara. Constant communication helps build a sense of togetherness. This approach might not suit everyone, but even occasional updates can make a big difference.
3.Address Issues Promptly: If a misunderstanding arises, opt for a phone call rather than texting. Resolving differences verbally can prevent small issues from escalating, especially since text messages often lack tone. This can be detrimental when you’re long distance and don’t have the quality interactions that can easily help you forgive your partner and open conversation more naturally. Direct and honest communication is key to maintaining trust and avoiding unnecessary conflicts.
Compromise
Being in a long-distance relationship requires flexibility and a willingness to compromise. Inevitably, you and your partner may want to visit each other during the semester, so it’s essential to be fair and considerate. Here’s how we approach compromise:
- Sharing the Travel Load: During my first year, I didn’t have a car, so Ciara would often visit me. In return, I contributed by providing groceries or preparing meals to show hospitality. Once we both had cars, we took turns visiting, depending on who was more available or had the lighter schedule.
- Supporting Each Other’s Commitments: When Ciara was in softball season, I made more of the trips to support her busy schedule. Recognizing and supporting each other’s priorities is a fundamental part of compromise.
- Being Flexible: Sometimes, unexpected events or packed schedules can delay visits. It’s important not to take these changes personally. Instead, work together to come up with an alternative plan. Balancing flexibility with communication can ease any potential frustrations.
Commitment
College introduces new experiences, challenges, and temptations. Maintaining commitment requires clear guidelines and trust. Before starting college, Ciara and I had an open discussion about our relationship expectations. For us, this meant a committed, monogamous relationship with a mutual understanding of how we would balance time for each other with our individual responsibilities.
Defining these boundaries early on helped establish trust. Regardless of how busy or far apart we are, we make it a point to honor our commitment to one another. This trust allows us to navigate college life confidently, knowing that we are both on the same page.
SUmmary
The “Three Cs”—Communication, Compromise, and Commitment—are deeply interconnected, and sustaining one often reinforces the others. While there are countless ways to maintain a healthy long-distance relationship, this framework specifically, has helped us to grow. It’s an ongoing learning process, requiring time and energy, but when you’re with the right person, it’s entirely worth it. Remember, it’s also okay to reassess your needs and boundaries as you grow. For those navigating long-distance relationships, know that you and your partner can thrive with effort, understanding, and trust! YHOO and your partner are killing it!