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This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at UVA chapter.

One of the worst pains someone can experience is a break-up. I mean, there’s a reason literally every song is about lost love. I’ve also felt that sting of waking up in the morning missing a person that’s no longer a part of my life. And what about when you see a meme that reminds you of them, and you wanna share it with them so bad, but you’re blocked on everything? Yeah. It’s that literal pain in your chest you carry around every morning for weeks at a time after the break up. Heartbreak sucks, point blank period. But, everything happens for a reason, and you should actively be trying to rebuild yourself after a painful breakup. Here’s my step-by-step guide on how to get over *them*.

Pick Up a Hobby

 Relationships tend to consume a lot of your energy and time. Suddenly you shift your focus to catering your partner, and you start to neglect some of the things you want to do. My best advice on how to get over a relationship is to start focusing on activities that make you happy. For me, it was getting more involved in my personal health and fitness. I started working out, fixed my nutrition, and got into yoga. These were all things I didn’t feel I had time for while I was in a relationship. Maybe you love to dance, or knit, or cook, or sing! Whatever it is, try to pick up a hobby (it could be new or old) and throw yourself into it. Not only will this distract you from those lingering feelings and thoughts, but you may create an amazing opportunity for yourself with this new hobby.


The no-contact phase. One of the worst parts of a breakup is adjusting to not talking to your ex-partner anymore. You probably talked to this person all day, every day. Adjusting to their absence is a difficult step but necessary if you want to lead separate lives. All relationship coaches advertise a no-contact phase: this means absolutely no contact with your ex on any platform. No texts, no Instagram likes, no sub-tweets, no accidentally showing up at their new job. It is advised to keep a no-contact barrier for at least two weeks. This will do two things for you: it will build a boundary between you and your ex, and it will encourage you to practice living your life without their presence. 

Put Yourself Out There

Take this opportunity to expand your network. Now I’m not necessarily saying jump into a new relationship automatically, because most likely you will not be ready for that. I’m saying put yourself out there, and make some new friends (or visit old ones). Try a new coffee shop, go to a movie alone, visit your hometown, go to a bookstore and chat up a stranger, or go on a trip alone! Going back out into the world and finding new people to experience will help you realize there are more people out there that you can admire, and learn from. These people may turn into your greatest friends, or mentors. They can heal you, and you can heal them. Having other people to talk to during this time can be very beneficial on your path to healing. 

UVA Contributer Account