In Defense of a Hookup Culture—Kind Of

Recently I’ve begun to wonder why it is that modern American media is obsessed with the idea of the “hookup culture,” particularly hookup culture among college students. If you believe the opinions of some think piece writers, it would seem that college students have unashamedly destroyed dating. Although I have never bought into the notion of a hookup culture – and even read studies disproving such a claim – I do believe that dating, in the classic sense of the word, is dead. We should let it rest peacefully. It's time came and went, and that is perfectly acceptable! So let us all take a step into the 21st century and accept reality for what it has become. 

The older generations turn their noses up at millennials, but they should be applauding us. As a college student, I'm so wrapped up in my own life that I don't have the time or energy for anyone else. That, however, is not to say that I think other 20-somethings are incapable of juggling their love lives, social lives, and academics because I witness it first-hand every day. And believe me, I definitely envy anyone who’s doing the whole college relationship thing (I mean who doesn’t love love, amirite?!) But I would probably be lying if I told you that I could manage to fit a boyfriend into the chaos of my life.

So like many of my peers, I am not in a committed relationship. And sometimes I – just like single people tend to do − have hookups, but that doesn't mean we've created a "hookup culture." Simply put, this is just a college culture. If I asked any of my single friends (and did in fact ask many of them) they would assure me that they don’t engage in hookups because they can’t have relationships, instead they are neither ready for nor interested in being in relationships. And I, for one, couldn’t agree with those sentiments more.

Don't get me wrong, having one person around who understands you and loves you and cuddles you is an amazing feeling, and snaps to those of you making it work. But can we not pretend that relationships are always fun. Being in a relationship with one person a serious thing that both people have to be ready and willing to commit to, and if they aren't things tend to fall apart.

Take it from someone who’s longest and most serious relationship blew up in flames (trust me, those are the perfect words to describe it): falling in love can be scary. And falling out of love can be even scarier. But that’s where hookups come in – they’re all the intimacy without any of the commitment, and that can be enough. Instead of thinking of engaging in hookups as rejecting relationships, perhaps we should consider that it’s best to wait until you’re ready for that kind of commitment. I know that my future soulmate is out there somewhere, he’s probably just too busy shotgunning Natty Light to be the love of my life at this particular moment…and strangely, I accept that.