We are the architects of the walls that we build that keep us from being open. Our walls are built up so high that we decided to make them homey. So we put on a fresh coat of paint. Set up furniture behind those freshly cemented walls. But when you stare at what you created, you can’t help but think, what if you create a window.
Vulnerability is a powerful tool. The vulnerability lies within shame, fear, and anxiety. But showing vulnerability gives you a sense of belonging and love. Feelings are just a whirlwind of obstacles that keeps us from building that wall. Sometimes our walls can have a life of their own. You may want to let someone in, but your walls lock your doors and shut the blinds, telling you that they will never understand. You often live in disappointment, but you are never disappointed that you didn’t let them in. We have mastered the art of swallowing our stories until it sits in the pit of our stomachs. And often, it can feel like emotions can leave an aftertaste of weakness, and somehow, our own words can grab us by our throats. We also think that showing emotions and sharing stories can give people power over us. We must understand that it is not dangerous to be seen by others; showing others who you are beneath the surface is the most daring thing anyone can do.
I have realized that vulnerability is the center of all emotions, but it is also where all positive emotions come to be. The vulnerability allows you to create a better version of yourself, a version of yourself that you dreamed of. Vulnerability is about crawling out of the many layers you have made and showing up. We dream what it is like to come out of our walls, but the only thing that holds us back from coming out of those walls is fear, uncertainty, and anxiety. It is challenging to have the courage to be imperfect, especially when everyone knows you like the person who has it all together. I would tell you not to care what others think, but as human beings, that is impossible because every comment about us is engraved in our minds. But we don’t use those comments as our motivation to gather our tools to create a window. Building a window can be difficult, especially when you decorate your walls to give them a homey feel. Those walls were never home. It was never your safe place. It is an armor that kept hurting you, but you never really noticed because you were so used to it straining you.
So gather your tools and start building your window. Start off with one, then another, until your walls no longer exist. That is the first step to vulnerability. Start off with one just to see who and what is waiting for you on the other side. Leave a window open and remind yourself that you are not invincible behind those walls. You, too, have something to say. You, too, long for a deep connection with others.