This year, I am living in the new upperclassmen housing, Gaston-Ramazani, for the second year in a row! I absolutely love the location and the fact that there is a dining hall one elevator ride away; however, the aspect of living with 7 other roommates comes with some issues…. Luckily for me, I believe my 18 years of living with three annoying siblings have prepared me well for conflict resolution and just how to live alongside others respectfully. Whether you are a first-year having to share a room with someone you barely know or an upperclassman living with a large group, here are some of my tips and advice for how to do so without hating your roommates by the end of the year!
laying the ropes
It is essential at the start of the year to have an open and honest conversation with your roommates about your preferences, communal areas, quiet hours, etc. This will lay the foundation for everyone to share what they do and do not like, as well as develop a set of rules you can refer back to. Living with people you may have different lifestyles from may come with some compromise—my loud Friday night pre-games are put to a halt this year since my roommate has a 7 am lab on Saturday—however, it is really important to ensure that everyone is comfortable in their living space. Here are some topics that are helpful to discuss:
- Guests (specifically boys)
- Kitchen rules (washing dishes, sharing items, dividing space)
- Quiet hours (on weekdays and weekends)
- Communal areas (what is allowed, cleaning schedule, etc.)
Communication is Key
Having an initial meeting to set rules also lays a foundation for open communication. Living with people for a while can open your eyes to habits you may dislike but, it is important to be open and clear about anything that bothers you when it first begins so it does not repeat. I am a strong hater of non-confrontational people and will not listen to anyone complain about something they did not address. Remember that your roommates cannot read your mind! If you do not like something you need to gain the courage to open your mouth and say something. This is so basic but honestly the root of so many living situation issues. No one should be uncomfortable in their own home so, you taking the initiative to voice your discomfort or dislike can show your roommates they should feel comfortable to do the same. Having uncomfortable conversations are difficult but necessary. However, it is essential to not have a hostile tone and let your roommates that it is not personal! No one is perfect and someone could be doing something without even knowing it could bother you.
Be friendly & make an effort
Even if you are not best friends with your roommates, it creates a much warmer atmosphere if you are friendly with them. Making an effort to getting to know each other, checking up on each other, and occasionally hosting roommate activities are easy ways to make your living situation more pleasing. In addition, you and your roommates liking each other makes just about everything so much better and can encourage others to be more respectful since they actually care about your opinion. Hosting cute events like a Friendsgiving or a movie night are great, low-effort ideas. You do not have to be best friends and should definitely set boundaries but making small acts of effort to be kind will make living better for both your roommates and yourself!
Set boundaries
I have been roommates with my first-year roommate for my entire college experience, and although we do quite literally everything together, a major reason why we have never gotten in a real fight is because of the boundaries we set. We share a lot of things and have a lot of the same friends; however, we also have friends and things of our own that are separate from each other. It is really important—especially if you’re already close friends with your roommates—to set boundaries and understand where your lives can separate so that there are no issues.
conclusion
I hope you all enjoyed this article that I wrote in my unbearable 2 1/2 political research methods class. College is most likely our first time living with people who aren’t our family, so it truly takes getting used to. It is a wonderful learning opportunity, though, and good communication amongst your roommates will be a skill to help you in so many other situations!