Here are my top 6 things that produce jealousy in a UVA student. I may have had all or none of these things happen to me. Am I the jealous one? I’m not jealous, you are!
1. Lululemon X UVA Collection Items
Actually, no, it’s cool just call me broke. But actually, enlighten me. How are you budgeting enough money to buy a top over $100? I’m scared. The money that I spent on DoorDash to avoid O’Hill for the 3rd time this week is scary. You better watch, when I pull up with the UVA Rec shirt I got for free last week, you’ll be the scared one.
2. No Google Maps
Are you actually a 5th year? A Charlottesville native? This may be a tell-tale sign that I am a first year, but how do you know where you’re going? When did you find the time to understand this maze? I’m looking down at my Google Maps, then looking up wondering how to fly over the fence to get on JPA.
3. You Own an iPad
Walking into class, notebook and pencil in hand. My laptop usually open just in case I miss a word or two on the slide. Do you think you can just walk in and pull out your iPad? You can just jot down the things the professor says that’s not on the slides and have the opportunity to look up. And don’t look at me when my page makes noise, I know it’s not as quiet and delicate as your little iPad. I hate you… but that’s only because I want to be you.
4. no scary experience with veo
Whether you are the one on the Veo or you’re the one on the sidewalk, they are a recipe for disaster. If you’ve been on a Veo and have never realized the brakes didn’t work going 20mph downhill, you are a lucky soul. If you’ve been on the sidewalk and have never almost gotten obliterated by a looney tune going to class, then, again, you are a lucky soul. (Both have happened to me).
5. never had to RUN to catch the bus
Well, I’m happy your TransLoc isn’t lying to you, like mine is. Oh, and you’ve never run to the bus, waving your hands at the bus driver hoping they’ll stop for you? What’s it like? I swear every time I need to get on the bus, I’m running to catch it. And as the bus rolls away, I can hear the bus stop sign laughing at me.
6. never been attacked by an acorn
I hope you enjoyed your stroll on-grounds. I really do. The rest of us are hoping not to get knocked unconscious by an acorn that Mother Nature wants to send at my head with the wind. She knows I don’t want to take the test I have next week, and figures if I’m dead she can save me. It’s ridiculous.