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Wellness > Sex + Relationships

Why You Don’t Need To Give the “Nice” Guy a Chance

This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at UTSA chapter.

At some point in our lives, we have all heard the phrase along the lines of “I’m a nice guy, just give me a chance.” While some of us understandably may have caved into the pressure, you are not obligated to give someone a romantic interest just because they are nice. Can we stop for a second and think about how ridiculous that sounds?

First of all, them being a nice guy doesn’t mean you have to be attracted to them. It’s a weird narrative that some men have created, “I’m nice, you HAVE to be attracted to me.”

put yourself first

You shouldn’t have to put yourself in an uncomfortable situation just so you don’t hurt someone’s feelings. It can lead to expectations from the other party and cause things to snowball if you aren’t one for confrontation. It can cause a ton of unnecessary stress to fake interest in someone you genuinely don’t want to hurt.

It’s also a huge gamble to take in terms of safety. Especially if the man you’re dealing with can’t take no for an answer. You have no control over whether someone turns ugly in the face of rejection, but it’s easier to get caught in the loop if you were to get involved with them. Rejecting them can easily show their true colors and some just act like nice guys until they get what they want. It’s better to see that before you have any sort of ties to them.

Just because they seem nice doesn’t mean they are

One red flag many women have noticed is that men feel the need to point out that they’re nice guys in order to secure a date. They tend to hide behind that act. Often times when men get rejected they turn to insults and degrade whoever they made an advancement to. This enables the narrative that “women don’t want nice guys”.

Some women have taken it to TikTok to share their stories of men changing their attitudes when told that they aren’t interested. Others are met with different responses in their comments. One woman shared a video of how she was enjoying time with this man she had just begun dating. A user commented, “you’re going to dump him because he’s ‘too‘ nice”. In response, she replied with a video stating that he wasn’t so nice after all. He asked her to leave a party because he was “embarrassed” by how she was dressed. To be clear, she dressed appropriately for the party. This emphasizes that women are in fact into good guys…just not the ones who act the part in public and act like assholes behind closed doors.

Overall, you don’t need to say yes. A real nice guy won’t guilt-trip you into thinking you’re doing something wrong by not being interested. You’re not a bitch or stuck-up. These men just like to think that they’re entitled to the very being of a woman. Remember, you don’t owe them anything. It’s their problem if they can’t handle rejection, not yours.

Hi! My name is Catherine. I’m a sophomore at UTSA, and I’m majoring in English. I love to write, and I excited to bring you interesting articles. From make up recommendations to advice on important issues.