Entering my first semester of college, here is what I’ve realized…
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You can’t trust ANYONE unless you know them very well.
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Not everyone will understand your terrible humor.
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You can’t please everyone.
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You will begin to question who you are.
Maybe you have realized different things, and props to you for that. But for me, these are just a few things I have realized. Of course, all of these things suck and would definitely cause a person to spiral out of control. Fortunately, not me.
Last semester, one of my best friends told me, “it’s so hard to find people like you.” I understood what she meant but for a while, I didn’t feel that way. I had made friends in my classes and hung out with people I thought were cool. Let me just say these people are still cool, don’t worry.
But later I realized she was right. I now have to be careful about what I say. I now have to start presenting myself in a certain way, when I knew with my REAL friends I never had to do that. I never had to look nice. I never had to pretend that I had everything figured out. Unfortunately, the people that currently surround me are not the people I want in my life. I thought I NEEDED to make new friends or maybe new BEST friends in order to feel whole. I thought that I had to find new people to spend my time with since most of my friends were miles away.
I was wrong. Lately, and I am not afraid to admit this, I have been on some sh*t. I don’t know what I’m doing. I leave my real friends on read and give all my attention to people who claim they “love me <3” when I have only known them for a minute. Why would I do this? Why would I try and replace the people that make me, me?
I will tell you why.
Watching people with their groups of friends, eating lunch or just dabbing each other up, makes me yearn for something I used to have constantly. Since I don’t experience all of these amazing connections day-to-day anymore I try my best to find them anywhere I can. I thought I was looking in the right place, but I was wrong.
In high school, I gained a family I would never want to leave. The most amazing people I have ever met are the friends I had throughout my freshman to senior year. The amount of times I messed up is uncountable, but they still stuck with me. (Except for one slip up but that was spring break Gillian, cut me some slack) I never once put up a front to make them like me. They just connected with me all on their own. These are the things I know I will never experience with another person, which is something I don’t mind.
I take the “once a week” snaps from my real friends for granted. Leaving them on read is not the answer to keeping a friendship functioning. I now realize that. Although it is hard to balance school, work, and personal life; it is important to keep those who remind you who you are close. The worst thing that could happen is the “drift away” friendship because you two were too busy to text or facetime once every two weeks. I refuse to let that happen and you should too. Keep your real friends close and those fake b*tches far.