Girl code, we all claim to live by it, yet we are constantly breaking it. Sometimes a break in girl code can be minor, and sometimes it can be friendship ending. Here’s the most common Girl Code violations we are all sick and tired of seeing.
1. Not lending a girl in need feminine products.
There might not be anything more evil in this world than a woman who sits there quietly with a backpack full of tampons and pads as some poor girl in need frantically searches for something to keep her from looking like a war victim. I don’t care if you don’t know her, or if she’s your worst enemy- if a girl needs a tampon, she needs a tampon. It’s okay though, girls that break this sacred piece of Girl Code, karma will come at you ten-fold. Have fun the next time you unexpectedly start your period on the 4th floor.
2. Letting your drunk friend dial, drive, or leave with a random guy.
I get it, you’re not your friend’s babysitter or her mommy. Why would you let her make potentially life ruining or fatal (socially and actually)? You’re not letting her “do her thing,” you’re being a bad friend. Why stop at just women you know too? I’ve given random drunk girls I don’t even know rides home from parties, stopped them from texting their boyfriends after public fights, and have stopped guys I know from taking home girls that are 1. Way too drunk to offer consent in any way, and 2. They don’t know at all. It’s a rough world, and we all need to watch out for each other.
3. Constantly complaining about how crappy your boyfriend is, and then expecting your friend to be nice to him afterward.
Yeah no. If you’re my friend, I love you and want the best for you. If you tell me about how he ignores you, how he forgot about your 1 year anniversary, or send me screenshots of him being rude to you I am going to give him the cold shoulder at best, and at worst I’m going to give him a piece of my mind. That’s what supportive friends do. If you don’t want me to hate him, don’t divulge every relationship problem you two have.
4. Being a “Me too!” girl.
I’m totally guilty of this (sorry everyone who knows me). If your friend is telling a story, stop stealing her thunder- and her story by trying to one-up her. Let her have her moment. Don’t know if this is you or not? Here’s an example:
Girl 1: Today has been such a bad day. I overslept, and then I missed the shuttle and had to wait in the pouring rain for another 30 minutes. My professor bitched me out in front of that guy I like for being late again. Im pretty sure I failed my accounting quiz, and I spilled coffee all over my new shirt. When I finally got home and went to the bathroom, I realized I was out of toilet paper and none of my roommates were home. So, I sat there and cried.
Girl 2; oh that’s horrible. The same thing happened to me today too, except that when I was waiting for the shuttle I got struck by lightning.
5. Dating a friend’s ex without talking to her about it.
First off, “ex” is defined as her ex-boyfriend or a guy that she seriously talked to for over 6 months and then he screwed her over. It’s not some guy that she had a crush on, or they hooked up a few (less than 4 times) times and it fizzled out. Secondly, there are 7 billion people on this planet, and you had to choose the guy that your friend has swapped multiple bodily fluids with. Thirdly, by talk I don’t necessarily mean ask for permission. Sometimes it enough to just let her know what’s going on from YOU vs. everyone else. Sometimes it’s just inevitable to fall for THAT guy, so if you do woman up and talk to her about it! Bottom line: tread lightly with dating ex-boyfriends or ex-situationships. If you really feel strongly about him, talk to your friend first. You never want to make your friend feel uncomfortable or hurt by your decision.
6. Not letting someone know if there is something in their teeth.
Or is their lipstick is smudged. Or that they bled through. Or that their eye makeup is all over the place. Part of girl code is helping other women out, which means saving them some embarrassment. While it might be awkward to tell a complete stranger that her lipstick, 77 percent of surveyed collegiate say they would want to know. Plus, how many times have you gotten home and realized you had salad stuck in your teeth, and thought “why the hell did no one tell me??”
7. Hating on a girl you don’t even know.
There’s 3 sides to every story. Your friend’s side, her side, and the truth. Talking badly and spreading rumors about a girl you don’t know very well, or have possibly never even met is wrong. I’m sure you trust your friend’s judgement, but you also know she has a proclivity to make mistakes. Im definitely not saying to ask the girl to coffee and try to get to know her deepest darkest secrets, but when your friend is venting don’t feel the need to jump in. Likewise goes for that random follower you have on Twitter or Instagram who just gets on your nerves. If you have never actually met the girl face to face, don’t feel the need to bash her (even if she posts half-naked selfies every day and is thirsty on social media).
8. Making your guy-friends girlfriend uncomfortable.
Okay, so he’s your best guy friend. We get it. There are certain rules that go along with the behavior you display when he gets a girlfriend though. If you are doing any of these things, then you’re breaking girl code.
· Texting/ calling him after 10 pm
o This is a “no no” on so many levels. Anytime my fiancé has gotten correspondence like this from another girl during in our relationship, there’s a 100% chance we find out that she didn’t have “friendly” feelings for him a few months down the road. Every. Single. Time. Even if you do have the purest and friendliest thoughts, it’s not appropriate. How would you feel if some girl you didn’t know that well was hitting you boyfriend up at 1 am?
· Making zero effort to get to know her.
o Even if you do think she’s annoying or a temporary fixture in his life, how would you feel not knowing anything about the girl your boyfriend calls his “friend.” You don’t need to become besties, but at least make the effort to make casual conversation with her so you’re not both sitting there uncomfortably when he leaves. My fiance actually ended a friendship with a girl, becasue he asked her if I could come out with the group, and she said “No.” Like what..?
· Ignoring her in public.
o This actually annoys tf out of me, and I’m sure any girl can relate. It’s pretty fake to be nice to her when he’s around and say “hi”, but as soon as he leaves or he’s not around to give her the cold shoulder. Like I said, you don’t have to be besties, but at least make the effort. You would say “hi” to anyone you know and saw in public, and she’s no different.
· Constantly trying to hang out with him alone.
o The only time this rule doesn’t apply to you is if you were friends BEFORE they started dating. Even then, the most appropriate thing in that instance is lunch or helping her move. I can assure you that after spending the majority of his free time with her, when he wants to hang out with his buddies its either just with the guys, or with a big group of mixed people- not with you and alone so he can have almost the exact same conversation he would be having if he was at lunch with his girlfriend.
There’s a million other things I could probably mention in this category, but regardless they all come down to one thing: if it was your boyfriend, and it would make you uncomfortable- don’t do it to another girl.
9. Saying something about someone else that you wouldn’t say to their face.
Sometimes you just need to vent about how annoying it is that your friend only ever has time for her new guy, or that your roommate leaves her dirty dishes so long in the sink that your whole place smells like a sewer. What’s not okay is not having the courage to say what you’re venting about to her face. Just be honest and communicative when you have issues with people.
10. Actively trying to hook-up with a guy/ hooking up with a guy that you know has a girlfriend.
This one REALLY just pisses me off. There’s really no greater heartbreak in a relationship than getting cheated on, so why on God’s green earth would you actively be wanting to put that pain on another woman? Last spring, this one girl got it into her head that it was okay to pursue my fiancé while we were in a relationship. She was calling and texting at all hours of the night, constantly trying to think of ways to hang out with him alone like class work or student organization business, and finally at the end of the whole semester long ordeal, she confessed her love to him thinking she could somehow sway him. What she didn’t know is that the whole time I was listening to his complaints on how uncomfortable the whole situation was for him, and that he didn’t want to be mean to her because he knew she had issues. If a guy is honest and loyal (most of them aren’t tho thb), he’s probably having the exact same conversation about you to his girlfriend. Don’t be that girl. Even if you do somehow get him to stray, there’s the old adage “if he’ll cheat with you, he’ll’ cheat on you,” and quite frankly that’s not the kind of relationship I would want for myself or any other woman (even the girl trying to hook up with my fiancé) .There’s 4 billion men in this world, and I can assure you that not a single one of them is worth hurting another woman like that-whether she’s your best friend, or some stranger. .