Confessions of a Restaurant Hostess: Valentine's Day Edition

Hi, I’m your friendly neighborhood restaurant hostess. I’ve been working in this field for far too long, but the pay and interesting characters I see everyday somehow still manage to keep me around.

In the restaurant world, there are three days a year that are considered the absolute worst: Easter Sunday, Mother’s Day, and Valentine’s Day.

A few days ago, was Valentine’s Day. I felt impending doom all week long leading up to the day. I personally think that you should spoil and show your appreciation for your significant other all year round, not just one day a year.

I worked a double on Valentine’s Day, and it was not pretty. So many angry people surrounded the host stand. I answered the phone and was yelled at WAY too many times for a Thursday evening. It got to the point where I was thoroughly enjoying having the control and power to piss people off.

That being said, I have a few thoughts and comments to put out into the world about this.

First of all, don’t yell at me. I don’t care who you think you are, I really DON'T. I’m not a manager, sometimes I just don’t have the answer for your problems.

Continuing on -- Don’t get mad at me because YOU failed to make a reservation for Valentine’s Day. I don’t care if you try to bribe me with money, I’m not going to move you to the top of the list. Why? Because 1, I literally can’t add your name to a nonexistent spot, and 2, I really don’t care. I’ll take your name down, and you can go over to the bench and sit for an hour.

Shoving an email with your reservation confirmation number in my face repeatedly will not magically make the people sitting at the tables get up and leave. Just be patient. I understand that you made a reservation, but waiting 5 minutes to get seated instead of 2 hours like those without a reservation seems like a fair trade-off. Am I right or am I right?

Lastly, please don’t suck face and touch each other inappropriately in your booth. People are literally trying to enjoy their meal around you. If you can’t control your raging hormones for a few hours, I would suggest that you book a hotel room and order room service.