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It’s natural to feel scared. Oh honey, I know.

I’ve never done anything in visual art. Photography mainly, but never took a painting or drawing class prior to college.

When I first applied to the university, my intention was to be a music major. However, during the first semester of senior year of high school, getting told “This school is looking for a specific brand” does a lot of harm. I’m a Studio Art major sophomore (and getting a minor in Mass Communications).Seeing realistic drawing and perfect styles. I felt out-of-place, I couldn’t draw a circle.The true definition of intimidation. However, I didn’t give up.You need to ignore any toxic thoughts like “You’re not good enough”.A quote from Walt Stanchfield, an American animator, “Don’t be afraid to make a mistake. We all have 10,000 bad drawings in us. The sooner we get them out the better.”In addition to feeling intimidated in class, at work it was the same situation. I’ve been working for Student Media for two years.I know some of my co-workers have way more experience in journalism than me. Sometimes we compare ourselves to other like that.Not a smart thing, that’ll destroy your mental health. It made me so angry at myself.I can’t remember a time not feeling like trash. I thank my friends who’ve loved and listened to my rambling. Learning how to be vulnerable to talk about what is happening is step one (and the scariest step).The second step is self-reflection. Ask yourself, “How am I feeling?”, “Why do I feel this way?” etc. Of course, talking to a trusted friend, parent, or teacher helps.It is scary to confront the problem. Tears and sleepless nights will happen. It’s OK, your feelings are valid.Just know people love you, regardless if you’re tall, short, skinny or large. Someone appreciates you.

If you have thoughts of suicide, please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1 (800) 273-8255 or visit https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/If anyone is struggling with these emotions, visit the counseling center at BSTUN 2.10 in Brownsville or EUCTR 109, or call 956-882-3897 or 956-665-2574.

Currently, I’m the online and social media editor for Pulse Magazine, senator for the college of Fine Arts in the Student Government Association and a writer for Her Campus. Nothing in my life told me I would do all of this. I, honestly, can say I’m happy.

 

I’m a student at UTRGV studying Studio Art and Mass Communications. I’m an editor for my university’s magazine Pulse.
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