There’s a lot of confusion when it comes to the LGBTQ+ community. There’s a lot of hate and doubt. I know that a lot of that hate and confusion comes from ignorance, and I’m happy to dispel any rumors I possibly can as long as the questions are asked respectfully.
I have to say, though, I don’t understand why these issues are so confusing. People loving other people is the least of my worries. I have a lot of friends that are in the community, though, so I have been exposed to the topic for a long time. I started really questioning my sexuality when I was in middle school, and I started coming out as bisexual to my friends in high school. I made it a pretty public fact in the last few years.
I feel that I, as a bisexual woman, can state a few facts that might surprise people and maybe even clear up some confusion.
I’m still bisexual even when I’m dating a man. Can you still find people attractive when you’re in a relationship? Yes, you’re committed, not blind. I’m the exact same way, but sometimes those people are men and sometimes they’re women. Just because I’m in a heterosexual relationship doesn’t mean I’m suddenly straight. A bisexual woman may only date men or women, but that doesn’t make her less bisexual. Your current relationship doesn’t summarize your past, future or your feelings. Sexuality is really complex, so it can’t always be as simple as it looks.
I don’t have to pick a gender to date. No one has to pick. Date who you want, and I will, too.
I’m not shallow. I’m not bisexual because I just like everyone. I’m bisexual because the person’s body and hormones don’t make any difference to me. I think men and women are so charming. I don’t like every man or every woman. I just happen to like men and women sometimes.
I can be in a monogamous relationship. This rumor really blew me away. I never thought about being in a polygamous relationship because I was always happy being exclusive. Just because I like both men and women doesn’t mean that I have to have both. If a woman who likes men can be in a monogamous relationship, so can I. Straight people don’t like every person of the opposite sex, just like how I only like some men and women that I meet.
Heteronormativity really set my coming-out back a few years. This is the biggest factor. When I was little, I was told that I’d like boys and marry a man. It wasn’t my mom’s fault; it’s all over society. When I realized, though, that I might be just as happy marrying a woman, I was so confused. I didn’t know how I could ever live a normal life because all I ever saw was heterosexual couples. That’s why representation is so important.
If you’ve ever been confused about bisexuality, that’s okay. You’re not alone. I hope, though, that this helps to clear it up just a bit. All we really want is to be accepted and represented, just like anyone else.