If you’re anything like me, you have a bad habit of constantly apologizing for things. Even if it’s not my fault or completely out of my control, I find myself apologizing to others anytime they may be even slightly inconvenienced. I always thought I was just being polite, but the older I get, the more I realize how unnecessary it really is.
Once I realized how often a day I say “I’m sorry” for no real reason, I knew I needed to make some adjustments. It was getting to the point where I would do things like preface a question in class with a quick “Sorry!” or apologize to someone else if they were in my way or ran into me. I felt as if apologizing automatically gave me a free pass, and people would be less likely to be upset with me for inconveniencing them.
I finally understood that apologizing for things that aren’t my fault made them look like my fault in others’ eyes. If I’m the one apologizing, why shouldn’t the blame for something be put on me? If something is out of my control, I shouldn’t apologize for it because there’s nothing I can do. Instead, I’m trying to use other phrases that express my emotions or concern for a situation, without placing blame on myself for it.
There’s a big difference between saying “I’m sorry” because I’m actually sorry for something I caused, and just saying it out of habit. By apologizing for things out of my control, I’m belittling myself and trying to please everyone. There are so many alternatives to apologizing that can help me be assertive while also showing sympathy and understanding.
Sorry, not sorry.