Being in college is tough and, quite honestly, tiring. You have the pressures of trying to keep your grades up while not getting behind and being involved in campus activities or groups while still trying to have a social life. Added to that is the pressure to fit into society’s idea of being “good enough.” Today, it seems as though society as a whole has standards that we as women try so hard to mold ourselves to fit. Our makeup has to be a certain way, our hair has to be perfect, our shirts can’t reveal too much skin and our shorts can’t be too short. The list goes on and on. I’ve realized that no matter what you do, you’re not going to please everyone. Why isn’t it OK for a woman to be happy in her own skin and her own clothes? Why is the world always telling us we’re doing something wrong? These are the questions every woman asks herself almost on a daily basis.
I remember when I was younger trying so hard to be like everyone else in my class. I wanted the brands that they wore, the same length hair and just about anything else that would make me “fit in.” Why? Because I wasn’t good enough for everyone unless I did those things, or so I thought at the time. Honestly, no matter what I did or how hard I tried, I still wasn’t happy. I was so focused on trying to do what I thought everyone else approved of that I didn’t even give myself my own approval. I’ve always been a people pleaser. One of my biggest fears is disappointing those I care about. Honestly, though, it’s bogus that we as women should have to constantly worry about things like that. We put so much time and energy into pleasing everyone else that in the end, we don’t even please ourselves. We should be happy with who we truly are, and that in itself should be more than good enough. If we put more time into loving ourselves instead of trying so hard to please others, the world would be a better place.
The older I get, the more I realize that it’s just not worth it to care so much about everyone’s opinions but my own. This has taken some work for me, though, I’m going to be honest. What I have learned is simple, and it could help other college women who struggle, as well.
Surround yourself with positive influences.
Being around people who have a positive impact on you is crucial. If you constantly surround yourself with negative people, you will become negative, as well. Spend time with friends who build you up and don’t tear you down.
Do what makes you happy.
When you’re happy, others will be happy for you. Even if they don’t completely agree with your choices, they will still support you because you’re doing what’s best for you.
Overall, the most important thing you can do for yourself is to be happy with yourself. It’s easier said than done. Women should not feel pressured to make everyone but themselves happy, although it is a reality that many feel that way. We shouldn’t let society tell us how we should look or act, especially when those telling us haven’t been in our shoes. College is a time for fun and learning what makes us happy. If we’re focused on making others happy by meeting society’s standard, we will never know what we truly enjoy or who we really are. Make the most of your college years, and remember you are a beautiful woman. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.