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Wellness > Sex + Relationships

The Three C’s: Finding Out Your Deal Breakers

This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Utica chapter.

Now I know one of the most key pillars of a relationship is compromise but one thing that must be faced right up front is what your limits are. A question as big as this couldn’t be answered by one person. So, I went asking the great constituency of my Instagram following. I asked what their deal breakers were, and responses poured in from people with different relationship experiences. I had received responses such as “being emotionally selfish, inability to communicate, and not being honest.”

Dealing with the different responses you can see that each topic delves directly into the two other pillars of a relationship. The pillars or more commonly known as the three C’s, which are the core attributes of having a healthy relationship. The first C stands for communication, something that really sets the bar for the both parties getting into a relationship. It is in communication, both verbal and non-verbal that lets you know right away whether to let someone in to your life or not. Furthermore, you should take the time within the first C to take advantage of a multitude of possible opportunities you get to really find out who is this person you plan on getting into a relationship with. Communication is a tool used to uplift one’s spirits or bring them down. The real test is whether you are going the let it bring you down or you are going to use it to uplift yourself.

The second C is compromise which is where this whole conversation started. Compromise is where you find your deal breakers. When you’re communicating with one another, you are faced with the opportunity to find a true balance between one another, the balance deciding whether if you can deal with her hot ass breath in the morning or deal with his messy tendencies. Compromise is rooted in being able to except another’s flaws on top of your own.

The last C of the trifecta is committing, committing is keeping your word in everything you tell your partner in what you will do to ensure the balance of the relationship.  In this final piece you can actually find a big deal breaker which is not being willing to put in the effort. Anyone can talk a big game, but that does not mean that they can deliver, I mean why do you think catfishing people is so easy. It is because we are so easy to believe something but sometimes people just write checks their asses can cash.

From all the responses I have been given, I conclude that it is quite simple, all you must do is be honest, communicate, and make an effort to put in the time a relationship needs to flourish. On top of all that you must be able to accept and love all the bad as well as the good in a person.

 

I was born and raised in Brooklyn New York and was raised on the ideals that people are all born equal and free to be their awesome selves. I currently stand as a senior at Utica College, I major in Public Relations and Cybersecurity with a focus in Crisis Managment. I currently stand as the Inter-Greek council president on my campus as well as working for the HEOP office. I took these positions because I knew I would be able to help people all over campus. The reason why I joined Her Campus was that I feel like Her Campus acts as a conduit for me to express my creative skills and raw opinion on certain topics in people's lives.