We have all heard breakup songs or songs about losing a loved one. Slow piano ballads about failed love and singers pouring their heart out about relationships that ended too soon. Today however I would like to propose a much sadder sub-genre of music that portrays a much more tragic event. Something I think we can all relate to. Relationships that should end, but don’t. Couples who stay together for no reason except because moving out would be a hassle. Relationships that aren’t abusive are just depressing. For my thesis, I have three examples concluding with what I consider to be the pinnacle of this subgenre that being the titular Breakfast at Tiffany’s (song not the movie). Before we begin I’d like to remind you if you want to tell me my opinions are awful please contact me at patrickyouropinonsarebad@gmail.com
- #3 Better Man by Pearl Jam
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Since I take this article writing stuff very seriously (you can tell right?) I feel the need to expose a conflict of interest. I goddamn love Pearl Jam, but their inclusion in this is well earned. The reason it is #3 is that unlike the other two entries the actual instrumentation of this song fits the mood of the lyrics. With the low guitars and Eddie Vedder’s voice filled with the sound of defeat and melancholy that this song deserves. Now that I am done gushing about Pearl Jam I can get back on topic. Better Man is a song about a woman who stays with her terrible boyfriend because she thinks she can’t find a better man. She knows she doesn’t love him anymore but deludes herself into thinking she can’t find true love so why not stay with him. Now if that isn’t a tragedy I don’t know what is. “She lies and says she’s in love with him, Can’t find a better man, She dreams in color, she dreams in red Can’t find a better man” Now if we can learn a lesson from this it’s if you don’t love your partner leave them you can find a better man. Also listen to Pearl Jam Ten is a masterpiece and I will fight anybody who says otherwise in a Kmart parking lot after school and that is a promise.
- #2 Escape (The Pina Colada Song) by Rupert Holmes
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Now of all the songs on this list, this is probably the most well known. It was on the Guardians of the Galaxy soundtrack and all the classics radio stations play it. When I mentioned writing this article to friends and family (I know it’s wild I have friends surprises me too) they all seem to hate this song. I have been told I am like one of the few people who like this song. Now I don’t think it deserves the hate because Escape (The Pina Colada Song) isn’t a love song or a song about rekindling love or anything like that. Pina Colada Song like every other song on this list is a tragedy. The literal first line of the song “I was tired of my lady I know that sounds kinda wrong.” Now for people who don’t know the plot of the song or drank away their memory of the song here’s the quick play by play guy who is tired of his lady decides to cheat on her after reading a classified ad which is just a list of random interests which includes Pina Coladas of all things. He replies to the ad and meets up with the woman. Oops turns out to be his wife. They chuckle and discuss how they never knew these things about each other. Now I am by no way a marriage expert or an expert of any kind, but even I know you are supposed to know things about your partner and it seems like this couple does not. It is implied that they are married which is even worse in my opinion. Now the true tragedy of this song is that while discovering each other’s attempted adultery instead of saying yeah we should probably break up instead they leave together like the newfound awareness of each other’s fondness for summery beverages will somehow save their doomed marriage. That’s why I like the song. They don’t love each other, but they do deserve each other in punishment in hell sorta way. They got married apparently without knowing anything about each other and then both apparently around the same time decided to cheat on each other and then catch each other and at no point in any of this do they like to talk to each other. So the lesson to be learned here is communication is important and you cannot base an entire relationship on shared enjoyment of a beverage. In the similar vein of continuing a relationship on a shared fondness for something inane is the final entry on this list. The piece de resistance as it were (I apologize to any french reader for my butchering of that term).
- #1 Breakfast at Tiffany’s by Deep Blue Something
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Now it is forgivable to not know this song was released in 1995 by a one-hit-wonder group. It doesn’t get the same radio play as Pina Colada and was also not featured in a Marvel blockbuster. However, if this song is good at one thing it is juxtaposition. The instrumentation makes it sound like an average soft rock song with a guitar-strumming along like it’s come on Eileen and just the most inoffensive sound of all time. However, where the real sadness comes from is the lyrics. Here’s the plot of the song: a girlfriend comes up to the boyfriend saying they got nothing in common and why are they even a couple? The guy replies with a simple “What about Breakfast at Tiffany’s?” the girlfriend replies with “I think I remember the film. As I recall we both kinda liked it.” The boyfriend adds in with “Well that’s the one thing we got.” Again I am not a relationship expert but if the only thing you have in common is a fuzzy memory of an Aubry Hepburn movie that you both “kinda liked” break up. Do it fast and do it now. Now, why do I find this to be the saddest song of all time? Simply for the presentation. Think of a sad song, something that brings you to tears. For me it’d probably be the Last Kiss by Pearl Jam (sorry if it seems I have a one-track mind I just have been listening to a lot of Pearl Jam recently) it’s about having your girlfriend die in a car crash and giving her a last kiss and all the pain and sadness that come from that event. The music there matches the tone with sparse information just an acoustic guitar and some drums played low to stick with the theme. However, Breakfast at Tiffany’s goes in a different direction instead of playing it as a moment of defeat where you realize that you don’t share anything with your partner and this relationship is dead you say as a last resort the title of a movie that you kinda remember. Instead, it is played like a moment of triumph with the guitar blaring and the drums blaring like you just saved the relationship. That’s why it’s sad because the guy thinks this is enough. I don’t know if he is deluded or just desperate, but I do know one thing they shouldn’t be together. So to wrap this up communication is important, if you don’t love someone don’t be with them, and most importantly listen to Pearl Jam.