My very first semester of college I spent an hour and a half away in a completely unfamiliar environment with only one person from my hometown to hang out with, who was in my friend group in high school, although I barely talked to her. I felt completely lost for four months with nowhere I felt really safe besides my bed in my dorm room, and though I tried to make the best of it, that kind of lifestyle just was not in the cards for me.
Being away for months at a time just made my anxiety and depression hit an all time high. There were times where I could not eat or sleep because my mind and body just could not adjust to the surroundings. My time away gave me a sense of independence I had craved for so long, as I came from a strict household, along with the ability to expand my social horizons, which led me to making a few lifelong friends that I only knew for a few months. Academically, I was able to work more on my passion for writing and creating within my classes, but my free time as well. Transferring schools was the best decision I could’ve made for myself, but it was not awful, as some people make it out to be. When I was away I learned a lot about myself as a person and what I really wanted to do with the rest of my life, which resulted in absolute perfection in my opinion.
Originally, I had this vague plan to go to school for broadcasting and make it big as a television or film director with a huge house in California and living an expensive lifestyle with lots of social attention, which was a stretch. Eventually, however, I realized that was not the actual life I wanted, especially the attention and expensive lifestyle. Self-reflection made me realize that I only wanted that because I felt overlooked in my high school and was treated as an outsider. All this lead me to realize that I truly wanted to work with children, and ended up deciding to change my major to English and go into the Childhood Education program.
My reflections showed me that my home, Utica, was the best place for me, as I want to work in my old school district when I get my degree in order to work with teachers that impacted me, but also be able to work with children in the same environment that I was surrounded by in my elementary school years. Finally, the decision to transfer was solidified on Thanksgiving break when i spent a week with my family on vacation at my grandmother’s house down in South Carolina.
Sadly, it was not greeted with open arms by my family when I moved back home, but they’ve learned that it isn’t the end of the world for a child to transfer home because they were unhappy in their situations. I loved my time away for a few reasons. The people I met and the memories I made were a couple of the great things, but it was time to try a different adventure, one that had been right under my nose for my 19 years on this planet. I’m glad to call Utica my home and Utica College my alma mater and I’m excited to see where this adventure takes me.