Just in case you haven’t noticed, there’s sort of a societal expectation for girls to be “nice” also known as “polite” also known as “docile” also known as “subservient.” Right. So we’re on the same page here.
So it turns out that even the most #feminist, the most #woke among us are not immune, per se, to the societal pressure to be ladylike-AF. And like, I’m not talking about me necessarily, but I am saying that like some of us, maybe, have a super hard time saying “no” to even the creepiest dudes.
So like, hypothetically, if a dude, who appears to be at least 40 and quite possibly is half-lizard, approached you while you were innocently walking to work, you should know that it’s okay to ignore him when he hollers a “compliment” at you. Additionally, you’re not obligated to thank him. When he approaches you, you have total permission to run. But if you don’t run, and he then starts telling you all about how he just moved here from out of state and he actually has a really good job and his friend here (who also looks like a children’s cartoon villain) is in the same industry as him and oh by the way are you a student? You’re not obligated to smile and nod and say yes. Would it feel rude? Totally. Is it still totally okay? Totally.
When he then starts asking you if you have a boyfriend. Girl, you can totally super lie and say yes. And if he then asks how old you are, and you say 18 because you feel very trapped by this skeevy conversation AND YET still feel like you somehow owe him honest answers and lying would be totally rude, and then he says “18? Old enough for me!” You have my total permission to sock him in his stupid dumb patriarchal face.
When he then demands your number, and you’re like “I really have to get to work, sir.” Because you’re calling him sir of course because you’re terrified of this man, honestly. Just walk away. Or pull out a book of poetry from your bag and start reciting at the top of your lungs. Or talk about how you totally have a UTI right now and it hurts like a mother, or just simply whatever it takes to scare this garbage bag of a man here away.
At some point, you have to forsake being polite for your survival. Some man on the street thinking you’re rude is not the end of the world. The consequences of you prioritizing your politeness over your safety could be the end of your life.
So yeah, all of this happened to me, and I’m extremely lucky the end result was me blocking his number and having a weird anecdote about a scary man approaching me. I’m so lucky I’m not one of the thousands of girls who was coerced into human trafficking.
Being a girl is terrifying and dangerous. If you don’t believe that, count your blessings. Being rude, being a bitch, being off-putting and cold can be survival techniques.
No one gets to take advantage of your “politeness.”