My mom told me this recently: “You’re pretty and smart, but you should smile more so you can be more approachable.” I was very taken aback by that. Do you know how mean our society can be? It’s a man/woman eat man/woman world out there and it’s important to be tough. We’ve come a long way in terms of equality, but there is still a distance to go, especially with the current president, whose views on women are seriously degrading.
“Hey pretty lady, can’t you smile for me?” and phrases like that are sneered out left and right, from men on the streets, the train, and even from “friends.” There is nothing wrong with smiling, but being told to do something feels uncomfortable (in certain situations of course). When a woman doesn’t smile, other people do take notice, especially men. People often use the term, “resting bitch face,” for women that don’t smile often. Why does one immediately become a bitch when one does not smile? During job interviews, women are more likely to flash their pearly whites to dazzle the interviewer, while men have a more apathetic look to them to impress. I always hear people saying, “if you smiled more, you wouldn’t look so standoffish.” Men are not obligated to smile at all, so why are women?
Personally, when men tell me to smile, or anyone for that matter, I feel angry and I want to fight back. I feel like I am being objectified as a human being. The man making those comments has control now. You can either smile or not smile, but knowing that if I smile, I will become that object that he is manipulating.
Of course, there are plenty of times when smiling is important. Like I said earlier, job interviews encompass different sexes to react differently, but truthfully, smiling for a job interview is important. Smiling for someone you may like is important as well. It shows that you have an interest in them and it will help the relationship.
For those that I am not obligated to smile for; I will not smile to you just because I am told. I smile when I want to and when I feel like it.