Tall and mysterious. Short and athletic. Ask around, and you’ll find a lot of misconceptions about what people want in a relationship. Instead of focusing on personal qualities like sense of humor, personality or ability to recite the Gettysberg address from memory, people mainly focus on the physical. Looks can be deceiving, right? Maybe the guy in your Chem class isn’t the epitome of Arnold Swarzenegger or the cutie from work doesn’t even remotely resemble your ex, but that doesn’t really matter… right?
When people actively look for relationships, the physical is usually the first thing they see. A pity really. Maybe you only swipe right on the dark haired beauties, or maybe you only like the athletic sort, but when you only look to date “your type” you miss out on literally everyone else.
Physical beauty and self-image is something we all struggle with. Feelings of doubt and normalized beauty standards skew our vision and make us strive for the unattainable, so why would you want to contribute to that? If you limit yourself in terms of the people you date, you’re basically telling everyone else that they need to change in order to be in a happy relationship. This view is extremely limiting, and doesn’t allow you or your partner to challenge social norms.
Focusing on only one “type” of person not only limits your view, but can give you a false sense of who someone actually is. Maybe you two are the picture perfect Instagram couple, and everyone comments on how well you complement each other, but without an emotional connection, all of that is worthless. Putting people into boxes based on physical features could lead to you missing out on dating an amazing person simply because they don’t fit your so called “physical standards”.
So what can you do to make sure you don’t skip over any future partners? Be open minded for one, and make sure to really get to know people. Maybe they’re shorter than you or have a hair color that couldn’t possibly exist in nature, but our differences are what make us interesting. Get to know people and don’t base your relationship off of a misleading first reaction. Snap scores are great and all but you only really get to know a person by spending time with them. It’s cliché, but the inside is what really counts in a relationship. The emotional aspect is what makes it all worth it.
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