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Why We Need to Nix “Netflix and Chill”

This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Utah chapter.

At this point, many of us have been the victim of the invite to “hang out” by someone who has the potential of becoming a romantic partner. This regular occurrence often takes place along the route of, “Netflix and chill?” If you haven’t actually spent time with said person, you should not agree to just “Netflix and chill” and here is why.  

“Hanging out” has become our generation’s cheap mode of dating.  I am sick of being invited to “hang” or “chill” in lieu of a first date, when the person asking me truly believes that we have the potential to date exclusively. That is not the way into my heart; no apologies from me.  No way. Nuh-uh. Not today. Boy Bye.  

The first thing that comes to mind when I am invited for the initial “Netflix” or a “hang out” is that this person only wants what’s in my pants.  This is aggravating and degrading.  I am so much more than a hook-up and I am proud of that.      

When guys ask me to “hang out” for the first meet-up, I see them as both cheap and lazy. I “hang out” with my friends, not someone who I don’t know very well. I neither let strangers into my apartment to mooch off of my Netflix account (*cough* *cough* my mom’s Netflix account) nor do I go to the home of strangers to watch some show during which I must constantly deflecting moves from this dude like a scene from “Kill Bill.”

Apart from the hook-up scene and lack of respect, this “Netflix and chill” culture has developed a vague sense of relationship. “Hanging out” without any sort of real date results in this ambiguous scenario where neither person knows if you are dating or not after so much time.  If you are just doing the modern-day classic “Netflix and chill” you have most likely crossed the physical boundary of personal spaces by means of cuddling… or more.  When someone else asks if you are single and your answer is, “I’m not sure,” you should probably reflect on how you got yourself in said position.

After spending so many hours watching shows and creating a physical relationship you might decide to take it to the next step: Appearing in public together. You decide to branch out and try something else as a twosome because you can’t call yourself a couple because that has not been established due to ambiguity. This is the moment when you realize you know nothing about this person.  Do they have siblings? What is there major? Where the hell are they from?

People who believe in this sort of thing are afraid of commitment.  They don’t want to seem too interested, therefore they don’t ask you on a real date. You can go “chill” with someone like this, but don’t have high expectations for the future.

I’m not saying that you shouldn’t ever “Netflix and chill,” we all need some downtime. However, I highly recommend that you come up with something else to do next time someone asks if you, “wanna come over and hang out?” You deserve more than that. Make that potential boyfriend or girlfriend earn you. By going on a “real date” you earn so much more than a cup of coffee or a dinner downtown. You earn the respect of someone who might be your future life partner and you are less prone to making a mistake.  Maybe you can “Netflix and chill” for the second date, or even at the end of the first, after you find out where that person is from and what their major is. 

Her Campus Utah Chapter Contributor