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Why Self-Love is the Most Forgotten Kind of Love

I never realized how important self- love is until I was the only person I had left to love. I would ponder about this article when I would feel happiness from the sun against my face or when I got lost in a great big pine tree. I couldn’t understand why I wasn’t coming up with any ideas, but I realized that I was missing the entire concept of focusing on finding love and happiness from nowhere else but inside of me. If there is one thing I want you to take away that is you have the strongest love and brightest happiness from the inside of you.  Self- love is the best, yet most forgotten kind of love there is.

Self-love isn’t confidence, nor is it narcissism.

Both confidence and narcissism represent how we portray ourselves on the outside and self- love is entirely what is on the inside, which makes it that much harder to achieve. For example, when I have the largest, darkest bags under my eyes and my mind cannot think about anything else, but sleep I could only wish I looked awake so no one could guess and make comments about how tired I feel on the inside. Even though we think we are faking it until we make it, there are some things we cannot hide. We can make it seem like we love ourselves, but it is inevitable the lack of self -love on the inside is showing on the surface.


How you decide to look at yourself in the mirror is how you decide to treat yourself.

When we love someone, we would do anything for him or her. We want to be their sunshine on a rainy day and we want them to feel good about themselves from head to toe. If we can love every inch of someone else, we should be more than capable of loving the one person you have the chance to be, which is yourself. There is only one of you for the span of your lifetime, so why not love everything you have to offer from beginning to end? You are going to go through a lot in this world and even though crumbling to pieces seems easiest, you are capable of standing up tall. Just add some water, light and love and you would be surprised how similar we are to plants, blossoming in no time.

Sometimes, too easily, we love other people before we love ourselves.

Falling in love is my absolute favorite type of magic. Those three words sit in your throat until they reach your tongue and when finally said out loud it feels like your heart is wrapped in your favorite sweater. The darkness that surrounds the idea of falling out of love seems awful, but we do it way too much to ourselves without even realizing it. The consequences of this being: unknown depression, anxiety, low self- esteem, poor performance and all the other things that are hurting us from the inside out. Falling in love with yourself can seem like the hardest thing to do, especially when we need love the most at that moment. I recently needed to take a step back from my life and see what I needed to do for myself that I do for the people I love.


Look forward to something only you have control over.

When I was having trouble with even liking myself, my sister told me to start small and find one thing, even if it is freckle that me and only me would love and eventually you would love more than a freckle. Disappointment from other people is the worst, especially because we have no control of another person letting us down. Trust can be broken with others, but you can always trust yourself. I recommend making plans by you and for you. Make a reservation that won’t be broken, wear an outfit that wont go unappreciated and enjoy a sunset that isn’t interrupted by anyone else. It is fine to be flexible for others, but how you achieve that is bending alone.


Ignite your own light.

After practicing yoga and reading a lot of Eckhart Tolle I believe that everyone has a light within them. The only person who can turn on that light is you. Sure there are people who can shine light on you, but it is not the same as firing up the brightness we have in ourselves. When I focus on radiating my light from the inside out, I notice I smile at more people and they smile back. I notice I have more patience and understanding. My chest feels whole, instead of feeling like there is a hole in it. Remember that bad week I mentioned? All I did was focus on the light, no matter how dim it got and as the week went on I felt it get brighter and brighter. I also noticed more positivity in my life. So ignite your own light and see what happens.


Do it for yourself. Don’t buy out Victoria Secret because you think it will make someone else look at you and think, “Damn she is sexy.” Buy out Victoria Secret because dancing in those hot new lacy beauties makes you feel on top of the world. Re do your winged liner ten times because you want to see the best you are capable of doing. The best and most successful kind of motivation is self- motivation.  Don’t let people question why you sent yourself flowers because there is nothing wrong with doing it for yourself.


Let this experience of falling in love with yourself be just as fun as it would be with another person. I promise only positivity will follow. Like the Beetles once said, “All you need is love love, love is all you need."

Born and raised in Salt Lake City, Krissi attends the University of Utah studying to become a journalist. When she is not doing school work, she is a part time makeup artist, full time animal lover and spends any moment she can outside. (She especially loves outdoor malls.) She quotes: "Writing is one of the most beautiful ways to express ourselves and I could not be more thrilled to be apart of Her Campus!"
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