I’ve been an avid fan of the notoriously cheesy television show ‘The Bachelor/Bachelorette’ since the tender age of ten. Watching couples like Jason and Molly Mesnick or Catherine and Sean Lowe fall in love made me believe that the show held love in the highest regard and had completely innocent intentions. As I’ve grown older I’ve broken out of my disillusionment to realize that the motivation behind the show’s success is not as innocent as I once believed. After all, is anyone REALLY ready to commit to marriage after only a handful of dates? While I still watch the show and hope that the couples have their own happily ever after, I’ve realized that the show’s overwhelming success is due to the drama that ensues when you stick a large group of people, who are all dating the same person, in the same house supplied with lots of alcohol and don’t allow them to leave. It’s basically ‘The Hunger Games’ but with less murder and more passive-aggressive comments.
Who could forget the drama caused by the ‘villains’ each season, especially when the women are produced to seem crazier each season. To be honest, I can’t remember anything about the ‘explosive’ drama of previous seasons because it’s the same thing year after year. As much as I’ve loved the show in the past, it’s become harder and harder to watch knowing that its widespread success is due to getting women to fight and tear each other down. That was a huge aspect of this season when Krystal Nielson, the ‘villain’, repeatedly insulted and verbally degraded the other women contestants. Everything you would expect to happen (fighting, name-calling, crying) did happen, until one defining moment never before seen on the history of the Bachelor/Bachelorette.
Kendall Long, a well-spoken, and quirky contestant (thanks to her love of collecting vintage taxidermy) was thrown into the hellfire of a two-on-one date with Krystal and this season’s Bachelor Arie Luyendyk. A two-on-one date means that only one of the girls will get to stay on the show and one will go home by the end of the date. After an attempted sabotage on her character by Krystal, Kendall responded in the most inspiring way by treating Krystal with kindness and empathy. After confronting Krystal about her backstabbing comments and sitting next to her, Kendall said: “I dated someone like you before, where in the face of conflict they have told me things that really hurt me. I guess I learned that saying the thing that’s most hurtful doesn’t necessarily mean you win. It means you hurt somebody. I can definitely empathize with you…I feel like you have so much beauty in you. Like, I 100% see that. You’ve been through a lot. You’ve been through so much. You’ve been through a lot of pain — like, more pain than I can even understand. It feels very controlled. I don’t think you should try to control it. I think you should just — man, I feel like the most beautiful moments I’ve ever had with somebody and the moments I’ve been able to connect with somebody are the moments I feel like I acted like a fool or acted imperfect. Man, you’re imperfect. And isn’t that amazing?”
Instead of responding with anger or bitterness, Kendall completely flipped the script with her sincere and empathetic response, which struck a chord with viewers and contestants alike. Kendall broke ground by showing that kindness on a show known for its animosity gets a huge positive response. For a moment that would normally result in women trying to tear each other down, it instead resulted in a moment of empowerment for both of them and everyone watching. The show has a huge audience, and showing someone that can maturely handle conflict and respond with peace is such a step in the right direction. While I doubt The Bachelor/Bachelorette franchise will ever step away from exploiting petty drama, contestants like Kendall give me hope that they’re moving forward into more content that has a positive influence on its audience. We absolutely need to see more contestants like Kendall in the future. Putting myself in her situation, my first instinct would absolutely be to respond with anger, but watching her response made me hope that I would have the strength and compassion to be kind in the face of adversity. The world is made better through compassion and peace, so why not try to follow Kendall’s favorite quote “No act of kindness, however small, is ever wasted”.