Instagram makes indoorsy people look outdoorsy, Facebook makes couples who fight look like couples who never have a reason to, and Snapchat makes attractive people look like Zebras and seriously deformed rodents.
Funny how this perfectly embodies people on social media. It’s distracting and attention-seeking.
So much of life cannot be saved in Snapchat Memories, and it isn’t meant to. We are comparing ourselves to what we think others want to see when we really should be focused on living. Happening behind the scenes of seemingly perfect lives are tears, talents, and true feelings. Social media shows a part of life that is so in the moment. It doesn’t illustrate the entirety of it all.
Talents
The people who post videos of their new cover or semester’s school schedule are not the only ones with talent and ambition. Some people don’t talk about their busy schedule. Honestly, everybody has a busy schedule if they really break it down for you. Good for you for getting a 3.8 this semester, John Doe.
Looks like someone is getting busy status updating instead of actually doing the things they are updating about!
Does the guy who is studying his brains out in order to get into a competitive medical school have time to brag about his accomplishments on Facebook? Maybe he does, but there is something to the idea of being humble. Part of humbleness is contentment within and a desire to succeed with you as your motivator. I presume that those who post constantly about their busy lives are looking to others to feel validated. If you are passionately chasing your dreams, go you! And yes, I totally want to hear about it! But we often overlook those who keep their lives private versus for the world’s viewing pleasure. If somebody’s presence on social media is minimal, we wonder if they are doing okay, as if social media is a deciding factor on a person’s sanity.
Tears
One night I picked a fight with my boyfriend for a reason that seemed serious at the time. I ended up crying, as usual, because I’m a crybaby, and saying that relationships were just too hard for me. My boyfriend said, “This is what people don’t see on social media.” Nobody sees the protection, the fighting, the hard discussions. They see couples with effortless relationships and fake, laughing candid’s.
The reality of relationships is that they are hard, and they are work. They are comparable to your ultimate dream job. Yes, you love it. You are obsessed with it. You love the fact that you wake up and get to go to work that day and be a part of something you not only love, but you have worked so hard for. At the same time, you still need a weekend and you still expect to be done by 6PM. A relationship is all of that, except that you do not get a break. So instead you bicker, argue, communicate, cry. But if anybody ever posted a picture on Instagram of them and their partner fighting in a car at 2AM with the caption “Love hurts,” you would be totally concerned.
This is not to say that being proud of your love, your other half, and what the two of you have built together doesn’t deserve shout-outs. Healthy relationships are an accomplishment. But I am more concerned with the couple who posts on the daily that they have the best person because of this, that, and the other.
True Feelings
This one is becoming less true as people become braver. But to all of you out there who become annoyed by the “my anxiety did this,” “blank triggered me today,” “I am depressed and not doing well,” posts on FB and roll your eyes at them: Don’t. Even if it is for attention. The fact that the person is putting it out there for people to see shows that they need the attention and compassion. The only social media websites that people seem comfortable to share their true feelings on are Tumblr and Twitter, because who even tweets these days, anyway? But you have to be a certain kind of person to socially survive on Facebook and Instagram. You have to remain professional. You have to set a standard for your family so that they don’t judge you. You have to put on a smile for your Facebook friends not only in college, but the high school ones too so that they know you are doing well – or better – then you were in the past or then they are now.
Not everybody is happy all the time, flying high on cloud nine. Keep in mind the difference between happiness and positivity, though.
Social media is about connecting. It was created for the purpose of making friends with similar interests as you and to show what you’re up to in college so Grandma feels included. Instead, it has turned into a platform to stand on in which people are shouting from the depths of their souls, “Me! Me! Look at me!” Remember that your real life is not in a screen, even if it is clear HD. Real life is not in a status update. Real life is not in the endless pictures of nature hikes. Real life is in people. It’s in creating and mending and re-creating relationships with people other than yourself. Social media can be used for these things. Don’t forget what it was meant for, but more importantly; don’t forget what you were meant for: Real life.