per-fec-tion (noun) the condition, state or quality of being free from all flaws or defects
Doesn’t perfection seem simple? As much as we want it, humans are too complex for simplicity. We have beautiful flaws in a world that was created on amazing mistakes. Our need to be flawless is a psychological mind twist that cannot physically happen. Although what we can do, is free ourselves from the cage of daily pressure that perfectionism encloses by becoming confident. You don’t need to achieve a specific outside appearance or try to change what you are naturally born with to be able to rely on yourself. Nor do you have to alter your personality when you feel uncomfortable.
Sometimes we feel as if a part of our face, body or clothes will make us the best “me” if they are changed. I am here to tell you that whatever part of you that you cannot control is what makes you so amazing! If there is a part of you that you have control over and it is a flaw you wish to change, then take it by the reins and don’t stop until you are proud of yourself. Channel your energy away from endeavoring perfection.
You have control of your confidence. All of the reasons we don’t own up to confidence are because of words such as “cocky, egotistical and narcissistic” that have tarnished the true definition of confidence. Confidence means “the feeling or belief that one can rely on someone or something”. If we have confidence we don’t need perfection! How do you achieve confidence without coming off as cocky, egotistical or narcissistic? The answer is simple: Strive to be the best version of yourself. There is only one of you so you might as well be optimal. Set standards and don’t lower them. If you are feeling down, whether it is because of your physical appearance, academics or career remember the person you are capable of being. Your only competition is the thoughts you have against yourself.
Although it is easier said than done, stop comparing the worst to the best, what you don’t have verse what someone else does. Embrace your flaws and appreciate your strengths. You are entirely unique and unique is not simple, therefore you will never be perfect. Life becomes easier when you begin to unconditionally love yourself.
I began to notice a change in myself aroung the time I turned 18, my jeans began to feel tight and my bra sized jumped from what my english grade is to my anatomy grade real quick. I would stare at myself at every angle wanting to rip off my unwanted curves that were natural changes of development, especially with Spanish genetics. I avoided looking in the mirror, threw on a baggy t -shirt and leggings and tried to forget how awful I felt. I went through waves of motivation and optimism, eventually I would go back to being in a self- conscious slump. This went on for three years. Though, as of recently I began to adore my curvy body. How? I laughed at the fact I ever thought I could look like my 6’4 naturally stick skinny “perfect” best friend, who constantly told me she wished she had my 5’1 big booty body. I thought “why?!” I realized that words become feelings and if the wordschanges, so does the feeling. I decided to associate myself to the words healthy and womanly. I have not wasted one more second of my life placing anchors on my confidence that felt to have had brought me down deeper than the ocean. The weight of self-doubt lifted and it seems easier to breathe. YOU are what YOU define yourself as. Keep your chin up and be exactly who you are.
We all have a different idea on what achieves “exactness”. Chocolate Cake is absolute perfection in my eyes. Apple pie is the most perfect dessert to someone else. It is absolutely impossible for one to be perfect. Do you think that makes chocolate cake and apple pie any less delicious? I wouldn’t say so. Unless you don’t like either, insert your favorite dessert. My point being, you will never be someone else and that doesn’t make you any less wonderful.
If dessert cannot be perfect why should humans feel as if they have to be? We are better than dessert and I must remind you that there is neither one perfect dessert nor person in the world. Being confident doesn’t mean being flawless, it means being proud of your best self.