It’s no surprise that Utah is not commended for their diversity. A large portion of Utah’s population is white, and not only white, but is compromised of white Mormons. Not to say that is a bad thing, but it is fair to say that many people who grew up in Utah are not exactly used to the “non-white” side of things.
About a month ago, I was talking to my dear friend Sam about how hard it is to find people in Utah, online and in person. She suggested that it might be because I’m not white (or maybe I’m just really ugly who knows), and it struck a chord with me. I am not a bad looking person, and no, I don’t have a bad personality. So naturally, I was really confused as to why I never got matches on Tinder, and why no one in real life seemed to be interested. I had never thought about it being because I wasn’t white, and that men in Utah weren’t used to to liking non-white girls. Of all my friends, the blonde, white ones were always the girls who got the most guys, and the most matches.
After talking to my friend about my struggles with dating, it made me realize that women of color in Utah are greatly unappreciated because men, who aren’t used to diversity, will choose a blonde, white girl over one who is more ethnic, and out of their white-washed, comfort zone. So many times in my life I was told that I wasn’t someone’s “type,”or that they flat out weren’t into ethnic girls. This is such a poisonous mindset to have, especially if you are ruling out whole races and calling it your “type”. I then went on to tweet this:
As you can see, that tweet got quite a few favs (okay guys you got me…I’m only using this article to exploit my twitter). But I got a lot of pushback from that tweet, mainly from blonde, white girls saying that it isn’t true, but most of all, I received messages from girls who were relating to it with their own experiences. Clearly if this tweet got over 300 favs and 50 retweets, then some people must be experiencing the same thing with dating as a woman of color in Utah.
I am not trying to put the blame on guys or white girls, I am just wanting to point out that women of color are incredibly slept on in Utah, and that when put next to a conventionally attractive, white, blonde girl, the blonde girl would more likely be chosen over the ethnically diverse one. The reason why these girls are chosen over the ethnic ones is that the white, blonde girls vastly outnumber the ethnic ones. In all my years of school I have only had a handful of people of color in my high school, and even less in junior high and middle school. We can only assume that he lack of diversity in Utah makes it so the men develop a preference for the majority, and tend to shy away from the one’s who are different and that they are not used to.
What we need to start doing in Utah is open our arms to more races, and diverse people, who do not fit “the norm.” Our country is a melting pot with people of all races, sexuality, genders, and we need to be better about including them. Again, I am not trying to put blame on anyone, I understand that people date who they are used to, but I challenge everyone in Utah to step out of their comfort zone, and no longer push people of color under the rug when it comes to your “types”.
If you are a woman of color in Utah, and you feel ugly or unloved because of the lack of interest, it is not because of how you look or how you are. This is due to Utah’s culture, and the hesitance to date girls who aren’t what they are used to. You are beautiful and amazing and your worth is not defined by who likes you and who doesn’t.